DISABLE SAFE MODE
19 WAYS TO BE A WOMAN!
01) Bitch!

02) When asked, "Is something bothering you?" reply, "No" then get pissed off when you are believed!

03) Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him, then immediately expect him to stop this behaviour!

04) Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening!

05) Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be pissed off about when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. You say, "It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not too busy this weekend." When you mean, "It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend whether or not it is possible!"

06) Whine

07) If you are trying to sleep, it's because you are exhausted from all your super human level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep it is because he is lazy!

08) No matter what the activity, he doesn't do it as good as your last boyfriend!

09) If he pays attention he is smothering you!

10) If he gives you space he is ignoring you!

11) Complain!

12) Hate any pub he likes!

13) Demand to be treated as an equal in everything - except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers, clothes, etc., these are required gifts proving love!

14) Declare PMS at any time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him that you are irregular from all the stress of your life!

15) Remember that any woman who so much as stares at your boyfriend must be labelled a whore and your network of friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quick as possible.

16) Make his life a misery by making him feel guilty about doing anything other than catering for your needs!

17) Break into tears for no apparent reason, then use number 2!

18) Ask for help in some endeavour, then become livid when it is given.

19) Insinuate yourself into your boyfriends group of friends, break up with him, then make sure you are present at every gathering for the next month just to rub it in!

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