Three naked, college-aged bros in Southwest Florida were so hungry one night that they broke into a burger shack looking for raw meat around 3 am and stole three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, 60 burgers and a paddleboard from Docs Beach House.
Waitress Nancy Sansevieri found the bros and called them dumb, dumber, and dumbest.
And, aptly, knuckleheads.
Caught on video by Docs Beach House security cameras, the bros were in and out of the kitchen in five minutes. At least the general manager found the whole thing somewhat amusing:
"When I saw the security footage, I said how is this guy not wearing any clothes? Then I said, Wait, its not just one. Theres three naked. Thats what makes this funny."
Are these men tourists? Are they actual college students? Are they reviewing a hazing ritual for an incoming frat pledge class?
The unidentified bandits remain at large.