On Russell Howard’s show, Russell Howard’s Good News, the talk show host hilariously compares Ebola coverage in the US to the coverage in the UK
. While the US media is wildly throwing phrases around like “spiraling out of control”, calling for us to “stop admitting West Africans into America right now”, warning about “the killer virus”, claiming that Ebola is “spreading much faster than efforts to contain it”, and predicting that “all hell is about to break loose”, the UK is handling the issue of Ebola with a little more calm moderation.
Back here in the U.S. of A., some people have taken expressing their Ebola outrage on YouTube (because of course they have). One very freaked out dude explains, “I can’t go to nobody house and have some dinner at they house! I don’t know what the hell they doing if they scratch their ass and put some Ebola assness into the spaghetti!” *Slow clap* Way to totally understand how Ebola spreads and react completely reasonably, America. Side note: Why assholes should be making contact with pasta in the first place is very troubling to me. This guy even expresses his very bizarre priorities, explaining, “The first victim is a black man! That gives white bitches more excuses not have sex with black guys now!” Did you hear that, America? Ebola is now threatening our sex lives. Damn you Ebola. DAMN YOU.
If you haven’t noticed (and of course you have), America is majorly losing its cool over Ebola. Even before Thomas Eric Duncan flew into Dallas
with the virus, a lot of people were not even okay with Doctors Without Borders health care workers flying back from West Africa to Atlanta to get treated. It goes without saying (but obviously I have to say it) — we are very, very paranoid. We don’t like illnesses. And illnesses on airplanes. And illnesses that reportedly kill 50 percent of those infected. And illnesses we really know nothing about except that oh my god there’s bleeding and vomiting and diarrhea and death.
When doctor Craig Spencer
, who recently returned from West Africa to New York, discovered he had Ebola, the entire country basically imploded on itself. Since Spencer went bowling the night before
he was diagnosed, New York citizens boldly suggested to burn down the bowling alley. Concerned relatives and friends texted one another, pleading with their loved ones to NOT lick the seats on the subway, nor ingest any poop or vomit they might come across. Thanks, guys. Thanks for the reminders. It’s totally understandable why we’re all nervous – Ebola is obviously no joke. But the way some Americans are reaction to it kinda is. And that’s in no small part due to the alarmist perspective being taken by so much of our media outlets.
The lesson we can all learn from our chill British brethren? We all need to settle down
. In fact, we need to maybe educate ourselves a touch more before we start accusing others of putting their “Ebola assness” into spaghetti. Watch the rest here: