One day a mass murderer escaped from prison and went on the run. Soon enough he came to a house, broke in and tied up the married couple.
Bound to the chair, the husband looks helplessly on as the psychopath gets onto the bed where his wife is and starts to nuzzle her neck. After awhile the crazy convict gets up and walks out of the room, so the husband starts bouncing across the room to his wife.
"Darling," the husband whispered, "I saw him kissing you. He musn't have been with a woman for years. Please co-operate and if he wants to have sex, just go along with it and even pretend that you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!"
"Oh darling," his wife whispered back, "I am so relieved that you feel that way, but he wasn't kissing me....he was whispering to me that he thinks you are really cute and asked if we kept any vaseline in the bathroom....."