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Two sweet old ladies were sitting in the park one fine afternoon, feeding the birds.

Suddenly a huge, hairy guy walked up and sat down beside them on the bench. After a minute, one of the old ladies whispered to the other, "Martha, this dirty bugger is masturbating right next to me!"

"Oh my lord!" replied her friend, "Let's just leave, Agnes,!"
"I can't," replied Agnes, "He's using my hand!"

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