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One day an 80 year old man went to the chemist and asked for some viagra. "That's no problem," said the pharmacist, "how many do you want?

"Just a few," replied the old man, "but could you cut each one into four pieces please."

"That won't do you much good," said the chemist.

The old man looked at him sadly and said, "I am 80 years old, I am not interested in sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my feet!"

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