Three friends were sitting in the pub, talking about the scariest sound they'd ever heard.
"My car broke down on a level crossing," said the first guy, "and I heard this train coming down the track. I almost shit myself, I was so scared!"
"Well I was in Vietnam," said the second guy, "And just about every time one of them gooks started shooting at me, I was so scared I could have literally pissed my pants!"
"I remember when I was in Melbourne," said the third guy, "I picked up this chick in a bar and she took me back to her penthouse flat. Just when I started giving it to her, the door was kicked in. 'Shit' she screamed, 'That's my husband!' So I climbed out of the window onto this six inch ledge. Just then the husband reached out of the window and grabbed my balls in his right hand."
"Hang on," interrupted the second guy, "What's that got to do with the most frightening sound you ever heard?"
"Well," said the third guy, "Have you ever heard a guy open a straight razor with his teeth!"