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Football season rules

1. Do not root against my team.

2. Do not call me at any time on Sundays, Monday nights, and Thursday nights.

3. If for some reason you decide to text me during a game, it better be to ask me "Did you see that!" to which I will always respond, "What the heck do you think!"

4. If someone is dying, call 911 before you call me because I'm guessing they'll answer. I won't.

5. If someone has already died, do not call me, there's obviously nothing I can do. Also, there's no need for both of us to be sad at the same time.

6 If you're confused about my availability until February, please refer back to rule #2.

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