These three guys are sitting in a bar arguing which one has the ugliest wife. The conversation begins to get heated to the point of the bartender telling them to get the hell out or shut up. In fact he says, "Why don't you all settle this once and for all and just visit each others houses and decide for yourselves."
Damn good idea they agree. They finish their drinks and make off for the first guy's house.
Upon arriving he bangs on the door and the wife answers, she's not pretty and he turns to collect the bet from the other two.
"Not so fast," said the second guy, "I got that beat!" And they go off to the second guy's house. He bangs on the door and his wife answers, the door opens and all three men step back in fright, she's damn ugly. He asks to collect the bet, but the third guy says, "Sorry, I have you both beat!"
They go to the third guy's house and they walk straight in, there is no sign of anybody about. He stomps his foot on the floor and they all hear this voice say, "Is that you honey?"
"Yeah, it's me!" he says.
"Do you want me to come out?" she asks.
"Yes please!" he says.
"Should I put the bag over my head?" she asks.
He says, "No, I don't want to fuck you, I just want to show you off!"