A guy was pissed out of his head and lying in the gutter outside the pub, when this frog hops by. The guy grabs the frog, looks it straight in the eye and says, "You turd of a frog! I'm gonna stick my finger up your arse till it comes out of your mouth, then I'm gonna tear you legs off, then piss down your throat!"
The guy didn't know it but a cop was standing behind him when he said all this.
"Listen you," said the cop, "Anything that you do to that frog I'm going to do to you!"
The guy smiled at the cop, looked at the frog and said, "Well I guess this is your lucky day froggie, because I am going to lick your arsehole