Three disabled men enter a swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second has no legs, and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and "SPLASH!" they are all in the pool.
The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see the bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool where the head is. He dives down and rescues the head, where upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.
Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts, "Three fucking years I have spent learning to swim with my fucking ears, then two minutes before the race, some bastard puts a fucking swimming cap on me!"