80 Year Old Birthday Jokes

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So what if you're 80 now! It could be much worse. If you were a dog, you would be 560 years old today! Happy 80th birthday!
So what if you're 80 now! It could be much worse. If you were a dog, you would be 560 years old today! Happy 80th birthday!

80th Birthday Jokes,  Dog Birthday Wishes,  
    
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At your age, you no longer want to hear "You look good for your age." That's not saying much at 80.

Happy Birthday
At your age, you no longer want to hear "You look good for your age." That's not saying much at 80.

Happy Birthday


80 Year Old Jokes,  Aging Jokes,  
    
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Happy Birthday....It's a good thing you've had 80 years to develop your sense of humor because I'm relying on you to say something funny.
Happy Birthday....It's a good thing you've had 80 years to develop your sense of humor because I'm relying on you to say something funny.

Old People Joke,  Funny Happy Birthday Wishes,  
    
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"Sand Traps"

A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.

On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.

Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet. 

The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."

True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.

The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.

Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.

The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"

"I really do, the 80 year old replied. Would you mind giving me a hand?"
"Sand Traps"

A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.

On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.

Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet.

The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."

True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.

The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.

Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.

The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"

"I really do, the 80 year old replied. Would you mind giving me a hand?"


Best Golf Jokes,  Jokes About Old People,  
    
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How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the f-word?

Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell BINGO!
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the f-word?

Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell BINGO!


Jokes For 80 Year Olds,  Bingo Jokes,  
    
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Happy 80th birthday! You're the best example of 80 being the new 60.
KAPPITS (1)
Mom: Happy 80 th
Happy 80th birthday! You're the best example of 80 being the new 60.

Funny 80th Birthday Jokes,  Happy Birthday Funny Quotes,  
    
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Enjoy your eighties, because you probably won't remember much of them when you're 90.

Happy Birthday
Enjoy your eighties, because you probably won't remember much of them when you're 90.

Happy Birthday


Funny Happy Birthday Wishes,  Jokes For 80 Year Olds,  
    
100%

 You are twice as old as a 40-year-old, which means you are twice the fun.

Happy Birthday
You are twice as old as a 40-year-old, which means you are twice the fun.

Happy Birthday


Funny Happy Birthday Quotes,  Getting Older Jokes,  
    
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"By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it."
"By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it."

Memory Jokes,  Funny Old Age Jokes,  
    
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Happy 80th birthday. You're the best example of being the new 60.
Happy 80th birthday. You're the best example of being the new 60.

Clean Old People Jokes,  Old People Humor  
    
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At 80 years old your bones get softer, but your arteries get harder, so it balances out.
At 80 years old your bones get softer, but your arteries get harder, so it balances out.

Bone Jokes,  Old Person Jokes,  
    
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Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial.
Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial.

Jokes For 80 Year Olds,  Song Jokes,  
    
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I got an iPad for my 80 birthday. Its the large print version of an iTouch.
I got an iPad for my 80 birthday. Its the large print version of an iTouch.

Ipad Jokes,  Jokes For 80 Year Olds,  
    
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80 years old is when you tell somebody, "I must be losing my memory" and they say, "I know, you told me yesterday."
80 years old is when you tell somebody, "I must be losing my memory" and they say, "I know, you told me yesterday."

Memory Jokes,  Elderly Jokes,  
    
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happy 80th birthday! you seem so young that i can nestly believe you're turning 20 for the fourth time.
happy 80th birthday! you seem so young that i can nestly believe you're turning 20 for the fourth time.

Happy Birthday Funny,  Aging Jokes,  
    
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