Best Golf Jokes

 – 39 total
Fuck croquet! I'm gonna put the ball hundreds o' yards away!
Fuck croquet! I'm gonna put the ball hundreds o' yards away!

Croquet Jokes,  Golf Jokes,  Funny Sport Jokes,  
    
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"Sand Traps"

A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.

On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.

Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet. 

The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."

True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.

The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.

Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.

The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"

"I really do, the 80 year old replied. Would you mind giving me a hand?"
"Sand Traps"

A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.

On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.

Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet.

The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."

True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.

The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.

Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.

The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"

"I really do, the 80 year old replied. Would you mind giving me a hand?"


80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  Jokes About Old People,  
    
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the only fitting response when someone tries to give you golf advice

i don't remember asking you

about my god swing
the only fitting response when someone tries to give you golf advice

i don't remember asking you

about my god swing


Memes,  Golf Jokes,  Sports Jokes,  
    
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Golfer falls into sinkhole on Illinois golf course. 

This is literally the beginning of Space Jam.
Golfer falls into sinkhole on Illinois golf course.

This is literally the beginning of Space Jam.


Memes,  Jokes Movies,  
    
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Golfer freezes on swing.

Epic Old Man: Frozen Golf
Golfer freezes on swing.

Pranks,  Great Golf Jokes,  Funny Practical Jokes  
    
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Criticizing a strangers golf game prank.

Epic Old Man - Golf Expert
Criticizing a strangers golf game prank.

Pranks,  Great Golf Jokes,  Funny Sports Videos  
    
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Q: What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?

A: When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!


Golf Jokes For Women,  Good Golf Jokes,  
    
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Outdoor lights were put up at a golf course - for people who liked swinging nightclubs.

Golf Jokes,  Club Jokes,  Golf Jokes One Liner  
    
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He said he'd been golfing but smelled like the ocean. Something fishy was up.

Ocean Puns,  Fishing Puns,  Golf Jokes One Liner  
    
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He would promise to play golf, but he didn't know how to follow through.

Golf Jokes One Liner,  Funny Golf Sayings  
    
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What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?

Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.


Search Funny Jokes,  
    
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Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"

Caddy: "Eventually."


Golf Jokes One Liner,  Athletics Jokes  
    
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Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."

Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."


Sports Insults,  Athlete Jokes,  
    
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Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?"

Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any day of the week!"


Sin Jokes,  Sunday Jokes,  Athlete Jokes  
    
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