Best Husband Wife Jokes

 – 60 total
                  
Counselor: Would you care to explain why you sprayed an entire can of Raid on your wife?

Me: She was bugging me
Counselor: Would you care to explain why you sprayed an entire can of Raid on your wife?

Me: She was bugging me


Memes,  Counseling Jokes,  Bug Puns,  
    
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When my wife opens a jar on her first try, she's like...
When my wife opens a jar on her first try, she's like...

Memes,  Wife Jokes One Liners,  Strong Jokes,  
    
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wife: you can't name our kids after things you've broken

me: you're not the boss of me

kid: she's right, dad

me: shut up condom
wife: you can't name our kids after things you've broken

me: you're not the boss of me

kid: she's right, dad

me: shut up condom


Memes,  Funny Name Jokes,  
    
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Me: I'm heading out to the bar with Frank

Wife: What about our children?

Me; Don't be stupid, they're not old enough
Me: I'm heading out to the bar with Frank

Wife: What about our children?

Me; Don't be stupid, they're not old enough


Memes,  Funny Bar Quotes,  
    
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Wife: You wanna switch positions tonight?

Husband: Helllll yeahhhh

Wife: Ok... You do the dishes and I'll sit on the couch and fart
Wife: You wanna switch positions tonight?

Husband: Helllll yeahhhh

Wife: Ok... You do the dishes and I'll sit on the couch and fart


Memes,  Husband Bashing Jokes,  
    
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This lady has her dog in the front seat and husband in the back. This will be me as a wife.
This lady has her dog in the front seat and husband in the back. This will be me as a wife.

Memes,  Funny Driving Images,  
    
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Behind Every Retired Man

Is a wife, wishing he would go back to work
Behind Every Retired Man

Is a wife, wishing he would go back to work


Funny Retirement Wishes,  Jokes On Marriage,  
    
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My wife finally found out where I've been getting my frozen Snickers bars.
My wife finally found out where I've been getting my frozen Snickers bars.

Memes,  Snickers Jokes,  
    
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I don't always hide things from my wife

But when I do, it's the fact that I had an entire box of cookies for lunch
I don't always hide things from my wife

But when I do, it's the fact that I had an entire box of cookies for lunch


Memes,  Wife Humor,  
    
100%

Wife did something to her hair

Noticed same day
Wife did something to her hair

Noticed same day


Memes,  Success Kid Meme (theme),  
    
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I have not spoken to my wife in years. I did not want to interrupt her.
I have not spoken to my wife in years. I did not want to interrupt her.

Funny Quotes,  Dangerfield Jokes,  
    
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I got this doormat for my husband.

It was a good trade.
I got this doormat for my husband.

It was a good trade.


Funny Jokes,  Funny Husband Jokes,  
    
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(Wife)
I saw in my dream that u were buying a diamond ring for me

(Husband)
I saw your dad paying the bill....
(Wife)
I saw in my dream that u were buying a diamond ring for me

(Husband)
I saw your dad paying the bill....


Funny Jokes,  Marriage Jokes In English,  Hilarious Marriage Jokes,  
    
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The only woman who knows where her husband is... Is a widow

The rest of u can sit down... and make me another cup of tea
The only woman who knows where her husband is... Is a widow

The rest of u can sit down... and make me another cup of tea


Memes,  Widow Jokes,  Husband Jokes One Liners,  
    
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I got this horse for my husband.

Sounds like a good trade to me.
I got this horse for my husband.

Sounds like a good trade to me.


Funny Jokes,  Best Horse Jokes,  
    
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