The Italian and the Irish parachutists were arguing about who was best at folding up a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up into the plane and judge by the mid-air performance of their chutes.
The Irishman jumped first, pulled the cord, and started floating gently to earth. The Italian jumped, pulled the cord, and nothing happened. He pulled the safety cord and still nothing happened. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past the Irishman, plummeting like a stone.
"Oh!" shouted the Irishman, yanking off his harness, "so ya wanna race?!"
A guy walks into an Irish pub and announces to the barman, "Hey pal, I have some really good Irish jokes to tell you!"
The barman leans over to him and says, "Listen, If I was you I would watch what you say. Both the bouncers are Irish, I'm Irish, in fact everyone in this place is Irish!"
"Oh, that's Okay," replied the guy, "I will talk v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y!"