Best Medical Jokes

 – 51 total
Me: Give it to me straight doc

Doc: You-

Me: No wait, give it to me gay

Doc: *Snaps fingers* girl bye ur dying
Me: Give it to me straight doc

Doc: You-

Me: No wait, give it to me gay

Doc: *Snaps fingers* girl bye ur dying


Memes,  Funny Doctor Quotes,  Funny Gay Sayings,  
    
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her: are u sure u know what ur doing?

doc: of course i'm medical af. also.. your heart stopped beating

her; umm..that's my sulder.
her: are u sure u know what ur doing?

doc: of course i'm medical af. also.. your heart stopped beating

her; umm..that's my sulder.


Memes,  Jokes On Doctor,  
    
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I told him I can't fill it until next week

Aaaaand he's waiting in the pickup
I told him I can't fill it until next week

Aaaaand he's waiting in the pickup


And Its Gone Meme,  South Park Meme,  Pharmacist Jokes,  
    
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'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'
'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

Laxative Jokes,  Jokes On Doctor,  Funny Doctor Quotes,  
    
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''Good thing it has a child-proof cap.''
''Good thing it has a child-proof cap.''

X Ray Jokes,  Medical Joke,  
    
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"You see, Ms. Jenkins, by doubling up on patients in the MRI,we're able to cut costs in half, thereby passing the savings on to you."
"You see, Ms. Jenkins, by doubling up on patients in the MRI,we're able to cut costs in half, thereby passing the savings on to you."

X Ray Jokes,  Medical Joke,  
    
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Now we're going to check for cavities. 

Um, don't you take x-rays? 

No. This is more accurate. First you eat this candy bar, then you drink this ice water. 

Technology, smechnology.
Now we're going to check for cavities.

Um, don't you take x-rays?

No. This is more accurate. First you eat this candy bar, then you drink this ice water.

Technology, smechnology.


Dentist Joke,  Jokes About Teeth,  
    
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''I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!''
''I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!''

Depressed Jokes,  Funny Travel Quotes,  
    
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"Is this 'No medical student left behind' diploma the same as a regular diploma?"
"Is this 'No medical student left behind' diploma the same as a regular diploma?"

Diploma Jokes,  Funny Medical Comics,  
    
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Neurosurgery correspondence school hereby certifies: Dr. Fitzsimmons
Neurosurgery correspondence school hereby certifies: Dr. Fitzsimmons

Surgeon Jokes,  Surgery Jokes,  Diploma Jokes,  
    
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Wow, you've got a lot of ear wax

But don't go sticking cotton swabs in your ears, that's dangerous
Wow, you've got a lot of ear wax

But don't go sticking cotton swabs in your ears, that's dangerous


Funny Medical Quotes,  Medical Humor,  
    
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Man in hospital bed has two buttons: 
1) Nurse 
2) Lawyer
Man in hospital bed has two buttons:
1) Nurse
2) Lawyer


Injury Jokes,  Hospital Jokes One Liners,  Hospital Jokes,  
    
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"It's carpal tunnel syndrome. You're going to have to quit your job working the bleep button for the Jerry Springer show.''
"It's carpal tunnel syndrome. You're going to have to quit your job working the bleep button for the Jerry Springer show.''

Medical Joke,  Funny Medical Jokes,  
    
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"We got the results back from the tests. You're really, really fat."
"We got the results back from the tests. You're really, really fat."

Bad Doctor Jokes,  Doctor Meme,  Doctor Jokes One Liners,  
    
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modern maladies

this mad is dead but i'll need a second opinion..

got it!
modern maladies

this mad is dead but i'll need a second opinion..

got it!


City Morgue Jokes,  Dead Person Jokes,  
    
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