Clean Story Jokes

 – 24 total
Friend and I ordered an Uber to pick us up while partying Anaheim, the uber driver gets there, picks us us and starts pulling out into the street. She didn't see the old fat man in a motorized wheelchair driving across the sidewalk I guess because sh managed to hit him pulling out of the parking lot. h was ok, but she was hyperventilating.
Friend and I ordered an Uber to pick us up while partying Anaheim, the uber driver gets there, picks us us and starts pulling out into the street. She didn't see the old fat man in a motorized wheelchair driving across the sidewalk I guess because sh managed to hit him pulling out of the parking lot. h was ok, but she was hyperventilating.

Funny Uber Stories,  Car Accident Jokes,  Uber Stories,  
    
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Remember, there are two sides to every story. 

Kind of like your face
Remember, there are two sides to every story.

Kind of like your face


Funny Ecards,  Creative Insults,  List Of Insults,  
    
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I like people whose names tell short stories, like "John Went". Where'd he go? Ha ha ha! I don't know!
I like people whose names tell short stories, like "John Went". Where'd he go? Ha ha ha! I don't know!

Funny Jokes,  Funny Name List,  
    
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I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "you're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. 

Mitch Hedberg
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "you're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

Mitch Hedberg


Funny Jokes,  Mitch Hedberg Jokes List,  Quick Fire Jokes,  
    
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A 'long story' is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
A 'long story' is just a short story that no one wants to tell.


Relatable Posts,  Story Jokes Clean,  
    
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My friends were supposed to get married in Yosemite this weekend. Thanks to the government shutdown they had to reschedule last minute. They posted this pic.
My friends were supposed to get married in Yosemite this weekend. Thanks to the government shutdown they had to reschedule last minute. They posted this pic.

Funny Pictures,  Government Joke,  Great Wedding Jokes,  
    
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Once upon a time there was a lonely orphan...

Who was friends with two social outcasts...

The trio lived happily until the evil...

Tried to take over...

Thankfully [hero] defeats [villain] with a...

And everyone lived happily ever after.

This is just epic
Once upon a time there was a lonely orphan...

Who was friends with two social outcasts...

The trio lived happily until the evil...

Tried to take over...

Thankfully [hero] defeats [villain] with a...

And everyone lived happily ever after.

This is just epic


Fairytale Jokes,  Fictional Character Jokes,  
    
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Blindness

It seems that there was this little 9 year old blind kid, and one day he said to his mom, ''Mom, all I've ever wanted was to see.'' His mom said, ''Well son it's your lucky day, today is the last day of March, and if you pray your hardest, your prayers will be answered.''

So the little boy goes to bed 2 hours early and starts praying himself to sleep. He wakes up half way through the night and realizes that the night isn't over, so he prays another hour before he falls asleep again.

He finally wakes up the next morning and yells, ''Mom, Mom, get in here fast!'' His mom comes running in and says, ''What is it son?' the boy says, ''Mom I did just what you said, I prayed and prayed harder than anyone else ever has, but I woke up this morning, and I'm still blind!'' So his mom says.......''April Fools!!''


Weird Jokes,  Great April Fools Jokes,  Prayer Jokes,  Jokes About Blind People,  
    
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British Airways staff are being asked to work for a month without pay.

Have you seen those air stewardesses? Max Factor will go bankrupt. You thought that air stewardess hated you before? You can kiss that cushion goodbye. Youd be as well taking a pot noodle on flights.

At least for that month the only bird strikes on the runway will be malnourished staff beating them to death with clubs.


Best British Jokes,  Airport Jokes,  Job Humor  
    
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A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.


Driving Jokes,  Father Son Jokes  
    
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Q: Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?

A: It became a headhunter!


Monster Jokes For Kids,  Growing Up Jokes,  
    
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I bought a new house last week but the previous owners had put a really steep staircase in...I did ask the estate agent but they just told me that the previous owners were that way inclined.

New House Jokes,  Puns,  Stair Jokes,  
    
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Grandma was knitting in her armchair. At her feet sat her two lovely grandchildren. Ruth was doing some colouring and Gareth was playing with his toy robot. Suddenly, young Ruth closed her colouring book and climbed up onto her Grandma's lap.

"Tell us a story, Grandma," she pleaded, her eyes bright.

"Yes! Please tell us a story," begged Gareth, putting down his robot and joining Ruth on Grandma's lap.

"Oh, I don't know, little ones, it's getting late," said Grandma with a yawm, stroking Ruth's hair.

"Oh please, Grandma," pleaded Ruth. "Tell us about when you were a whore in Chicago!"


Grandma Jokes,  Grandparent Jokes,  Story Jokes,  
    
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There was a man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch the guy do this day after day.
So, the doctor finally decided to see what this man was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything!"
The mental patient replied, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"


Mental Health Jokes,  Hospital Humor,  Doctor Humor,  
    
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One day a drunk was staggering down the road when he stopped a policeman who was walking the other way.

"Excuse me offisher," slurred the drunk, "could you pleash tell me what time it is?"

The constable looked at him and said, "One O'clock!" before whacking him over the head with his truncheon.

"Jesus," said the drunk reeling, "Lucky I didn't ask you an hour ago!"


Drunk Jokes,  Driving Puns,  Police Jokes,  
    
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