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Comedy One Liners
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man, i hate new orleans!
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My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
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My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
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the only reason i cheat is to let these other es know what type of my girl be getting
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*hits blunt*
if cats are afraid of water , why do get wet ?
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If you're feeling bored, find a group photo of 4 girls on instagram, and then comment, "You 3 look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
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Hey, guys, you ready to let the dogs out?
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The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg.
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bottle of scotch
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yo' feelings .
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Im still hot, it just comes in flashes now
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I don't know about you but people make me want to say very bad words
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You're as useless as a cup of decaffeinated coffee
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Let me know if you suddenly become interesting...
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Love your enemies it pisses them off!
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