Dave Attell Jokes

 – 4 total
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming "No, that's not what I said!" 

-Dave Attell
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming "No, that's not what I said!"

-Dave Attell


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e - cigarettes. have you tried one yet? you end up looking like a ing robot.

no. really. i was using one and had this old lady walk by me and act totally disgusted.

she walked a few feet away and start waving her hands in front of her nose, like "ugh! i don't want to get any of this science on me!

oh no. pretty soon she's going to start believing in evolution.
e - cigarettes. have you tried one yet? you end up looking like a ing robot.

no. really. i was using one and had this old lady walk by me and act totally disgusted.

she walked a few feet away and start waving her hands in front of her nose, like "ugh! i don't want to get any of this science on me!

oh no. pretty soon she's going to start believing in evolution.


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remember when you're young and you think your dad is superman? and then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk w wears a cape.
remember when you're young and you think your dad is superman? and then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk w wears a cape.

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"i offered a woman a stick of gum. she said "why do i need it?" i was just trying to be nice! if i was to give you something you need, it would be a mustache wax and a t-shirt that says "one  at a time"
"i offered a woman a stick of gum. she said "why do i need it?" i was just trying to be nice! if i was to give you something you need, it would be a mustache wax and a t-shirt that says "one at a time"

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