Dieting Jokes

 – 201 total
                  
My body waiting for me to finally eat my meal at 5 pm
My body waiting for me to finally eat my meal at 5 pm

Memes,  Simpsons Memes,  Eating Jokes,  
    
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Saw a fit girl waiting in line at Panera and I was like wow, I'm gonna be fit one day.. Then she got an apple on the side instead of a baguette and I knew the fit life would never be the life for me.
Saw a fit girl waiting in line at Panera and I was like wow, I'm gonna be fit one day.. Then she got an apple on the side instead of a baguette and I knew the fit life would never be the life for me.

Memes,  Diet Humor,  Healthy Eating Jokes,  
    
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When swimsuit season is only four months away, but Dominos is only 30 to 45 minutes away
When swimsuit season is only four months away, but Dominos is only 30 to 45 minutes away

Memes,  Kim Kardashian Memes,  
    
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I need to lose 15-20 pounds in 30 days. Send me tips. Legal & illegal.

Clean veganism, daily exercise, plenty of water, plenty of sleep, and (I can't stress this enough) cocaine
I need to lose 15-20 pounds in 30 days. Send me tips. Legal & illegal.

Clean veganism, daily exercise, plenty of water, plenty of sleep, and (I can't stress this enough) cocaine


Memes,  Cocaine Jokes,  
    
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Husband "I thought you were dieting?"

Me "I am"

Husband "You just ate 6 Oreos"

Me: Yes but I want to eat 12. See - dieting"
Husband "I thought you were dieting?"

Me "I am"

Husband "You just ate 6 Oreos"

Me: Yes but I want to eat 12. See - dieting"


Memes,  Oreo Cookie Jokes,  Smart Alec Jokes,  
    
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i got about 2 diets left in me before i try crack
i got about 2 diets left in me before i try crack

Memes,  Funny Diet Sayings,  Cocaine Jokes,  
    
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Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day.

Me: Ok, and how many at night?
Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day.

Me: Ok, and how many at night?


Memes,  Eating Meme,  
    
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The news: Do NOT eat romaine lettuce!

Me, biting into a hot pretzel: Dang okay.
The news: Do NOT eat romaine lettuce!

Me, biting into a hot pretzel: Dang okay.


Memes,  Salad Jokes,  Healthy Eating Jokes,  
    
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Damn I wanna look like snack this summer but I keep eating them
Damn I wanna look like snack this summer but I keep eating them

Memes,  Healthy Eating Jokes,  Snack Jokes,  
    
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Me trying to find the Will to start dieting
Me trying to find the Will to start dieting


Memes,  Stranger Jokes,  
    
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Me in January: New Year new me! Clean eating gym every day!

Me: Literally now in February:
Me in January: New Year new me! Clean eating gym every day!

Me: Literally now in February:


Memes,  February Meme,  Funny Eating Jokes,  
    
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When you're trying to cram as much food down you as possible because the new year is quickly approaching and you're going to start eating healthy
When you're trying to cram as much food down you as possible because the new year is quickly approaching and you're going to start eating healthy

Memes,  New Year Jokes,  Eating Memes,  
    
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My eating habits and my dream body looking at each other
My eating habits and my dream body looking at each other

Memes,  Rugrats Jokes,  
    
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I'm making healthier life choices lately.

Also me:
I'm making healthier life choices lately.

Also me:


Memes,  Oreo Cookie Jokes,  Snack Jokes,  
    
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Me: I'm going to be healthy

Breakfast: Fruit
Lunch: Sandwich
Dinner: Salad

Midnight snack: Large pizza, mac & cheese, a bucket of ice cream
Me: I'm going to be healthy

Breakfast: Fruit
Lunch: Sandwich
Dinner: Salad

Midnight snack: Large pizza, mac & cheese, a bucket of ice cream


Memes,  Healthy Eating Jokes,  Hypocrite Jokes,  
    
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