One day a man had a really sore stomach so he went to see his doctor.
The doctor explained to the man that he was extremely ill but a course of suppositories inserted deep into his arsehole would cure the illness.
"Right," said the doctor, "bend over and I will do the first one!"
When the man gets home six hours later, it is time for his next suppository, but he soon realises that he cannot stick it up his arsehole deep enough, so he asks his wife to do it for him.
After showing her how to do it the man then bent over the back of the couch.
His wife put one hand over her husband's shoulder to brace herself and thrust the suppository up his arse. To her horror the husband let out a blood curdling scream."Oh my God," said the wife, "did I hurt you?"
"No," replied the husband, "I just realised that the doctor did it with two hands resting on my shoulders!"
One day Mary went round to see her next door neighbour Joanne, when she noticed some freshly cut flowers lying on the sideboard."Are these from your husband, Joanne?" asked Mary."Yes they are." replied Joanne."I guess this means that you will be lying flat on your back tonight, with your legs spread, huh!" Mary asked."Oh no," replied Joanne, "I will just put them in a vase!"
Little Johnny was in the toilets at school having a piss. Another boy entered the toilets and also started to piss. The other boy said, "Hey Johnny, your dick is bigger than mine!" "That's nothing," replied Johnny, "My dad has got two dicks! "The other boy replies, "That's not possible!" But little Johnny says it is and that he has seen them. The other boy asks, "Oh yeah, what did they look like then?" "One is small and wrinkly and he uses it for weeing," answered Johnny, "And the other is long and stiff and he uses that to brush mummy's teeth!"