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when he texts you first
i will nut on your toaster strudel
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girls argue with their boyfriends only if his is good, but if she doesn't yell at you 3 times a day, lols i don't know my . . .. i'm sorry
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Let's sit in the bedroom and text dirty jokes to each other.
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David Hasselhoff can breathe under water if he's horny.
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What's the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again!
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What does a woman do with her arsehole while she is having a fuck?
She leaves him at home!
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How do you get a woman off during sex?
Push her!
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Two prostitutes were standing on the corner when one of them suddenly turned to the other and said, "I know this sounds crazy, but I can smell cock!"
"Take it easy," replied the second prostitute, "I just burped!"
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Q: What's the difference between parsley and pussy?
A: Nobody eats parsley, that's why one is a garnish...
and the other is an appetizer.
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Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
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How do you spot a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard!
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What do you call a dickhead wearing a wig?
Your honour!
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What's 14 inches long and has an arsehole behind it?
George Bush's tie!
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Why do men fart louder than women?
Women can't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure.
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Why shouldn't you have sex with your wife in the morning?
Because you have all day to find something better!
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