Two plastic surgeons are talking about their recent operations, and one mentions that he grafted tits onto a sailors back sometime ago."Was it a success?" asked the other."Incredibly,& quot; said the first, "I did it on a percentage basis, and if his arsehole holds out, we will be millionaires soon!"
A man was sitting in a pub when he noticed a sailor sitting at the other end of the bar. The sailor had a complete normal body apart from the fact that his head was tiny, about the size of an orange.
The man stared at the sailor for awhile and after a few more drinks plucked up the courage to ask the sailor how he got like that.
The sailor took the question in good humour, and explained that some time ago he had been shipwrecked. "I came to," he said, "on this beautiful beach, and I heard a sad whimpering sound behind some rocks. I checked it out and found a gorgeous mermaid who had been stranded on the rocks, so I carried her back to the waters edge."
"She was really grateful and offered me any three wishes I wanted. The first wish was to get off that damn island. Next I told her that I wanted to be rich beyond my dreams and there appeared a huge chest full of diamonds. And then I looked at her and asked if we could make love."
The mermaid replied, "Look at me, you can see that I am not made for that sort of thing."
"So I said to her, "Okay how about a little head!"