Drinking Jokes

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*first date* Me: Okay I will not mention or talk about my third nipple tonight because that might creep them out Me (after one beer): okay so you know how tricycles have 3 tires instead of 2
*first date*

Me: Okay I will not mention or talk about my third nipple tonight because that might creep them out

Me (after one beer): okay so you know how tricycles have 3 tires instead of 2

Memes,  First Date Jokes,  Nipple Jokes,  
    
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Me every day vs me on St. Patrick's Day
Me every day vs me on St. Patrick's Day

Memes,  St Patricks Day Memes,  Funny Comparison Jokes,  
    
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I wish I was 2 margaritas and 3 tequila shots deep somewhere tropical dancing to the cupid shuffle at a resort's tiki bar right about now
I wish I was 2 margaritas and 3 tequila shots deep somewhere tropical dancing to the cupid shuffle at a resort's tiki bar right about now

Memes,  Funny Relatable Memes,  Dancing Jokes,  
    
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Friends; You need to drink less Me:
Friends; You need to drink less

Me:

Memes,  Funny Clever Pictures,  
    
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When drinking to forget isn't good enough and you want to reset your entire brain to its original factory settings...
When drinking to forget isn't good enough and you want to reset your entire brain to its original factory settings...

Memes,  Tequila Jokes,  
    
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Me at any bar all the time always
Me at any bar all the time always

Memes,  Funny Relatable Memes,  Bar Humor,  
    
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Putting cucumbers in ur water wont offset the fact that you chugged 8 vodka sprites in under 30 minutes last night Susan
Putting cucumbers in ur water wont offset the fact that you chugged 8 vodka sprites in under 30 minutes last night Susan

Memes,  Water Jokes,  
    
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Learn something new everyday Wow I really be poring 12 ounces of liquor smh
Learn something new everyday

Wow I really be poring 12 ounces of liquor smh

Memes,  Liquor Jokes,  Cup Jokes,  
    
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Me after smelling a bottle and remembering everything I went through last time I drank
Me after smelling a bottle and remembering everything I went through last time I drank

Memes,  Alcohol Jokes,  
    
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Brunch is hella dangerous. 1 minute you're having bottomless mimosas and the next you're sending a "u up" text at 11:50am
Brunch is hella dangerous. 1 minute you're having bottomless mimosas and the next you're sending a "u up" text at 11:50am

Memes,  Breakfast Joke,  Lunch Jokes,  
    
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The perfect beer partner doesn't exis-
The perfect beer partner doesn't exis-

Memes,  Beer Pong Jokes,  Michael Jordan Meme,  
    
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thankful ios 11 included the perfect feature for when your friends says they don't wanna drink
thankful ios 11 included the perfect feature for when your friends says they don't wanna drink

Memes,  Funny Texts Jokes Messages,  Software Jokes,  
    
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me: i always feel like friend: have you tried not drinking or doing drugs for a day or two? me:
me: i always feel like

friend: have you tried not drinking or doing drugs for a day or two?

me:

Memes,  Drug Jokes,  
    
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I promise I'm not going to say anything too savage. One drink later:
I promise I'm not going to say anything too savage.

One drink later:

Memes,  Game Of Thrones Memes,  Inside Joke,  
    
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Don't claim to party hard unless you've needed to be rescued from the kiddie pool when drunk
Don't claim to party hard unless you've needed to be rescued from the kiddie pool when drunk

Memes,  Party Humor,  Funny Drunk Girls,  
    
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