Drunk Husband Jokes

 – 9 total
                  
Wife to drunk husband: From now on, if your lips touch liquor, you will never touch mine. What are you thinking?

Husband: Deciding, 18 year old scotch or 36 year old lips?


Jokes On Marriage Life,  Best Marriage Jokes  
    
0%

Sponsored Ad
A husband crawls back home drunk one night. Next day he wakes up with a hangover and sees that the whole house is clean and his shirts are laundered and there is a breakfast already prepared.

So he asks his son: "Hey Billy, what is up, why is your mother so nice to me considering my condition last night?"

Billy answers: "Well, yesterday when she was pulling your pants off you were yelling 'Get away from me, bitch! I'm married!'


Funny Drunk People,  
    
0%

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too drunk to find your keys.


Accident Jokes,  Drinking Puns  
    
0%

my girlfriend said to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy.

so i came back drunk.
my girlfriend said to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy.

so i came back drunk.


Alcoholic Jokes,  Girlfriend Insults,  
    
0%

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.

When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon.

He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"


Devil Jokes,  Evil Jokes,  Wife Insult Jokes,  Funny Wife Jokes,  
    
0%

i pe you have better luck reciting the alphabet to your child than you did with the police officer.
i pe you have better luck reciting the alphabet to your child than you did with the police officer.

Drunk Jokes,  Parenting Jokes,  Ecard Humor,  
    
0%

A cop pulled over a car and finds a young couple in the front seat. Wheres your seat belt young man? asked the cop.

Oh, I just took if off now when you were walking up to the car, responded the man. No you didn't! exclaimed his wife, you never wear your seat belt!.

A little taken aback, the cop asked to see his license. Aw shucks! cried the man, I must have left it home! Yeah right! screamed his wife, You know it expired 3 months ago!

At a loss for words, the cop asked the woman are you always so tough on him?! No responded the young woman, only when he had too much to drink!


Police Humor,  Husband And Wife Jokes,  Mean Wife Jokes,  
    
0%

Sponsored Ad
her job is to ... mine is to give her a reason!
her job is to ... mine is to give her a reason!

Husband Jokes,  Married Life Jokes,  After Marriage Jokes  
    
0%

Two guys sitting at the bar. One guy yells at the other, I slept with your mom. People at the bar grow silent. After a while, the guy yells again, I slept with your mom again. The other guy responds, Lets go home dad, you are drunk.

Best Drunk Jokes  
    
0%




page
1
Hashtag your funny pics with #kappit to be featured!