Elderly Jokes

 – 77 total
i never get caught cheating at the nursing me cuz all my side es got alzheimers
i never get caught cheating at the nursing me cuz all my side es got alzheimers

Memes,  Alzheimer Jokes,  
    
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"Howard, it's your Mother. I think she wants to move in with us."
"Howard, it's your Mother. I think she wants to move in with us."

Old Granny Jokes,  Older Women Jokes,  Most Funny Images,  
    
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A Wisconsin woman recently got a high school diploma at the age of 103, and said she is now considering going to college. Friends are recommending a two-year college.
A Wisconsin woman recently got a high school diploma at the age of 103, and said she is now considering going to college. Friends are recommending a two-year college.

Funny College Quotes,  Diploma Jokes,  College Jokes In English,  
    
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You know you are having a senior moment when you have to explain that you were speeding because you had to get to where you were going before you forgot where you were going.
You know you are having a senior moment when you have to explain that you were speeding because you had to get to where you were going before you forgot where you were going.

Speeding Ticket Jokes,  Funny Driving Images,  Funny Driving Jokes,  
    
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Twilight retirement home

Tonight! Speed dating
Twilight retirement home

Tonight! Speed dating


Speed Dating Jokes,  Nursing Home Jokes,  
    
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He thinks it's the weather channel.
He thinks it's the weather channel.

Old Person Jokes,  Jokes About Old People,  
    
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When you supposed to die but make it to another Christmas
When you supposed to die but make it to another Christmas

Memes,  Christmas Memes,  Old People Humor,  
    
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80 years old is when you tell somebody, "I must be losing my memory" and they say, "I know, you told me yesterday."
80 years old is when you tell somebody, "I must be losing my memory" and they say, "I know, you told me yesterday."

80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  Memory Jokes,  
    
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"Sand Traps"

A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.

On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.

Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet. 

The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."

True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.

The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.

Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.

The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"

"I really do, the 80 year old replied. Would you mind giving me a hand?"
"Sand Traps"

A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.

On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.

Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet.

The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."

True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.

The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.

Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.

The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"

"I really do, the 80 year old replied. Would you mind giving me a hand?"


80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  Best Golf Jokes,  Jokes About Old People,  
    
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I dont have to respect anybody.
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I dont have to respect anybody.

Jokes On Getting Older,  Turning 60 Years Old Jokes,  
    
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it's raining?

better go 40 under the speed limitin the left lane with emergency lights on
it's raining?

better go 40 under the speed limitin the left lane with emergency lights on


Rain Jokes One Liners,  Funny Rain Jokes,  Old Person Joke,  
    
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Elderly patients

Day shift

Night shift
Elderly patients

Day shift

Night shift


Memes,  Patient Jokes,  
    
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5'2" 100lbs

Will hit you harder than a grown man on steroids
5'2" 100lbs

Will hit you harder than a grown man on steroids


Memes,  Old Ladies Jokes,  Strong Jokes,  
    
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