Funny Advice Quotes

 – 129 total
If you heard weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance.
If you heard weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance.

Memes,  Noise Jokes,  Weird Jokes,  
    
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Therapy is expensive

Venting to your coworkers bc you know they literally can't walk away and are stuck near you for another 3 hours of this shift: free
Therapy is expensive

Venting to your coworkers bc you know they literally can't walk away and are stuck near you for another 3 hours of this shift: free


Memes,  Coworker Jokes,  
    
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"Carbs are bad for you. Don't eat carbs after 6pm."

Me:
"Carbs are bad for you. Don't eat carbs after 6pm."

Me:


Memes,  Jokes On Food,  Eating Meme,  
    
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if you think your t teacher wants to have sex with you 

she doesn't
if you think your t teacher wants to have sex with you

she doesn't


Student Jokes Humor,  
    
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un yourself

be w you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your ing shine.
un yourself

be w you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your ing shine.


Funny Love Advice,  Funny Motivational Sayings,  Funny Inspirational Quotes,  
    
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pro tip-

there's nothing but sad lonely es at the bar drinking away their "i'm a lonely loser" feels today
pro tip-

there's nothing but sad lonely es at the bar drinking away their "i'm a lonely loser" feels today


Funny Jokes,  Lonely Jokes,  Valentines Jokes,  
    
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When you draw a card

Look at your opponent and ask there life total
When you draw a card

Look at your opponent and ask there life total


Cookie Monster Jokes,  Magic: The Gathering Jokes,  Funny Advice,  
    
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remember, always dump your dead oker on an outgoing tide.
remember, always dump your dead oker on an outgoing tide.

Funny Life Advice,  
    
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"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk...

That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

-Ernest Hemingway
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk...

That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

-Ernest Hemingway


Memes,  Sober Jokes,  
    
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"try not to be a ."

-buddha
"try not to be a ."

-buddha


Funny Jokes,  Buddha Jokes,  
    
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things a taurus must have: 

stability and good sex.
things a taurus must have:

stability and good sex.


Taurus Quotes,  
    
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what belongs to a taurus

belongs to them

so don't touch their .
what belongs to a taurus

belongs to them

so don't touch their .


Taurus Quotes,  Humor Pictures,  Jokes So Funny,  
    
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during an interview ask w strict their sexual harment policy is.
during an interview ask w strict their sexual harment policy is.

Funny Jokes,  Funny Interview Jokes,  Job Interview Jokes,  
    
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If there's an asterisk next to free*

*It's not free
If there's an asterisk next to free*

*It's not free


Funny Advice,  Free Funny Sayings,  Actual Advice Mallard (theme),  
    
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