Funny Comedian Quotes

 – 63 total
Here we have added the most viral, trending and best and funny comedian quotes from all over the Internet. We have searched everywhere and taken the top ones that we could find, including the ones you guys have sent to us, and have added them here.

In this section, you will find some of the funniest quotes from your favorite and most popular comedians. Comedians like late night talk show hosts, Joan Rivers, Chris Rock, Will Ferrell and Mike Epps just to name a few.

While you are here browsing through our collection of jokes, memes, videos and articles please rate your favorites; share them with your friend. We are always adding new content so please be sure to check back as often as you like.
One does not simply

Watch Tim Hawkins without laughing
One does not simply

Watch Tim Hawkins without laughing


Tim Hawkins Jokes,  One Does Not Simply Meme,  One Does Not Simply (theme),  
    
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i'm taking viagra and drinking prune juice

i don't know if i'm coming or going

-rodney dangerfield
i'm taking viagra and drinking prune juice

i don't know if i'm coming or going

-rodney dangerfield


Prune Jokes,  Viagra Jokes,  Rodney Dangerfield One Liners,  
    
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Kale is superfood

And its special power is tasting bad
Kale is superfood

And its special power is tasting bad


Funny Jokes,  Food Jokes,  Funny Food Jokes,  
    
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With so many babies having babies

Soon baby showers will be held at chucky cheese....
With so many babies having babies

Soon baby showers will be held at chucky cheese....


Memes,  Chris Tucker Jokes,  Jokes About Babies,  
    
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You know

I want some kool-aid
You know

I want some kool-aid


Memes,  Chris Tucker Jokes,  Koolaid Jokes,  
    
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jeff: there's a lot of history in this city...

peanut: translated: old. as .
jeff: there's a lot of history in this city...

peanut: translated: old. as .


Funny Quotes,  Great Comedy Jokes For Stand Up,  Funny Stand Up Jokes By Comedians,  
    
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i used to be a  addict...

...i used to mug people and  myself in doorways...
i used to be a addict...

...i used to mug people and myself in doorways...


Funny Quotes,  Ricky Gervais Jokes,  Criminal Jokes,  
    
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Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.

-Ricky Gervais
Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.

-Ricky Gervais


Memes,  Hate Jokes,  Ricky Gervais Jokes,  
    
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"God selects countries, that's why they always say 'god bless america', because the world's billions of years old and america's 250 years old... and that's when god decided to choose a team."

-Jim Jeffries.
"God selects countries, that's why they always say 'god bless america', because the world's billions of years old and america's 250 years old... and that's when god decided to choose a team."

-Jim Jeffries.


Memes,  Jim Jefferies Jokes,  God Jokes One Liners,  
    
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"let me get this straight, mate. i'm trying to get drunk, et you're putting activity in my way that may impede me from getting to my beverage? they have this drinking game in the uk. do you know what it's called? drinking!"
"let me get this straight, mate. i'm trying to get drunk, et you're putting activity in my way that may impede me from getting to my beverage? they have this drinking game in the uk. do you know what it's called? drinking!"

Memes,  Jim Jefferies Jokes,  Funny Drinking Quotes,  
    
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i don't know w the  paul lynde is, or why he's funny, and i prefer it to be a mystery to me.

(paul lynde)
i don't know w the paul lynde is, or why he's funny, and i prefer it to be a mystery to me.

(paul lynde)


Memes,  Paul Lynde Jokes,  Funny Quote Jokes,  
    
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I dont watch golf on television because I cant stand people who whisper
I dont watch golf on television because I cant stand people who whisper

Funny Jokes,  Great One Liners,  David Brenner Jokes,  
    
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sam kinison: you ing ! you used me, you never loved me! i pe you slide under a gas truck and taste your own ing blood! die! die! die! i want my records back. i want my ing records back!
sam kinison: you ing ! you used me, you never loved me! i pe you slide under a gas truck and taste your own ing blood! die! die! die! i want my records back. i want my ing records back!

Memes,  Sam Kinison Jokes,  Comedian Jokes,  
    
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Every single Jewish person thinks I'm Jewish. It's not their fauly. They think that because of my face, my name, and everything about me.
Every single Jewish person thinks I'm Jewish. It's not their fauly. They think that because of my face, my name, and everything about me.

Funny Quotes,  Seth Meyers Jokes,  Funny Jewish Jokes,  
    
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