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man, uranium, you really got yourself in a clic sitcom conund: two dates at the same dance.
good luck getting out of this one!
if only you could split yourself in two, right?
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The spool of thread asked, "How ya doin', pal?"
Ever the wise guy, the needle replied:
Sew sew.
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Whatcha writing?
Suicide not.
Oh.
You misspelled "useless"
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wow, i dont believe it.. you broke up with me to date slenderman?
got a ing problem?
not my fault chicks like me
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You're moving just a little too fast for me.
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Ive been feeling a bit sluggish.
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"I understand that you're the person to see for pre-K funding."
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"Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating."
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"How do I know you're legit?"
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'you were meant to plant them not eat them, jack.'
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Comforting lies
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gertrude was too old for a surprise party
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We knew you were special, but Magna Cum Laude? We are so proud, honey!
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"Thomas Edison was awesome...If it weren't for him, we'd all be watching tv by candlelight."
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Egyptian Justice
An ancient system based on de Nile
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