Funny Confucius Sayings

 – 37 total
Confucius was a chinese philosopher who focused heavily on morality, justice and relationships. His beliefs were based on common chinese traditions. The funny confucius sayings on this page start off sounding like something that would be wise for us to take heed to but ends up being the total opposite. Sayings like, "Build man fire: warm for day. Set man on fire: warm for the rest of his life." and "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse" are just a couple of examples of the nonsensical sayings that you will find here.

While you are here please take some time to rate your favorite sayings by giving it a thumb up or a thumb down and you can also share them via your social media channels. We consistently add new content so be sure to revisit again soon.
A clear conscience, Is usually a sign of bad memory
A clear conscience,

Is usually a sign of bad memory

Wise Confucius,  Confucius Jokes,  
    
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Minnesota Vikings Will go to Superbowl
Minnesota Vikings

Will go to Superbowl

Minnesota Vikings Jokes,  Wise Confucius,  
    
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a dog that barks is not cooked enough
a dog that barks

is not cooked enough

Memes,  Dog Jokes Funny,  
    
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good for boy to meet girl in park better for boy to park meat in girl
good for boy to meet girl in park

better for boy to park meat in girl

Memes,  Funny Love Advice,  
    
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confucius say man w go through airport turnstile backwards definitely going to bangkok
confucius say

man w go through airport turnstile backwards definitely going to bangkok

Memes,  Bangkok Jokes,  Airport Jokes,  
    
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man w wants pretty nurse must be patient
man w wants pretty nurse

must be patient

Memes,  Confucius Say Jokes,  
    
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pick pocket es watches peeping tom watches es
pick pocket es watches

peeping tom watches es

Memes,  Tom Jokes,  Watch Jokes,  
    
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Why Do I look like Ben
Why

Do I look like Ben

Memes,  Ben Jokes,  Asian Guy Meme,  
    
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Man with silver tongue Has expensive tastes
Man with silver tongue

Has expensive tastes

Memes,  Silver Jokes,  
    
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It's better to have a crack in your phone Than a phone in your crack
It's better to have a crack in your phone

Than a phone in your crack

Wise Confucius,  Phone Humor,  Cell Phone Jokes,  
    
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cofucius says virginity like bubble, one all gone.
cofucius says

virginity like bubble, one all gone.

Funny Jokes,  Confucius Say Jokes,  
    
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If you cannot convince them... Confuse them.
If you cannot convince them...

Confuse them.

Wise Confucius,  Confused Jokes,  Confucius Jokes  
    
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Forgiveness is divine But never pay full price for late pizza
Forgiveness is divine

But never pay full price for late pizza

Meme,  Wise Confucius,  
    
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Bald head Cold in winter
Bald head

Cold in winter

Funny Bald Head Jokes,  Wise Confucius,  Cold Jokes,  Confucius Say Jokes,  
    
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He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Confucius Jokes,  Confucius Says Jokes,  
    
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