Funny Jokes And Sayings

 – 51 total
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, at least you made it out of your hometown without marring someone you went to high school with.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, at least you made it out of your hometown without marring someone you went to high school with.

Memes,  Funny Inspirational Sayings,  Funny Motivational Sayings,  
    
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nestly w the  actually likes sparkling water that  taste like tv static
nestly w the actually likes sparkling water that taste like tv static

Memes,  Water Jokes,  Drink Jokes,  
    
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Dentist: *Saw your jaw in half*

Dentist: "See you're bleeding because you don't floss"
Dentist: *Saw your jaw in half*

Dentist: "See you're bleeding because you don't floss"


Memes,  Funny Dental Sayings,  Dentist Joke,  
    
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*Gives advice*
"I could be wrong tho"
*Gives advice*
"I could be wrong tho"


Memes,  Advice Jokes,  Relatable Funny Quotes,  
    
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My last two brain cells after I accidentally said 'you too' to the movie theatre worker when they told me to enjoy the movie
My last two brain cells after I accidentally said 'you too' to the movie theatre worker when they told me to enjoy the movie

Memes,  Movie Theater Jokes,  
    
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 dude save some  for the rest of us
dude save some for the rest of us

Memes,  Cool Funny Sayings,  Funny Sarcasm,  
    
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Therapist: How often do you exaggerate?

Me: Like, a bazillion times a day
Therapist: How often do you exaggerate?

Me: Like, a bazillion times a day


Memes,  Funny Daily Quotes,  Therapist Jokes,  
    
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His head is brighter than my future
His head is brighter than my future

Memes,  Funny Bald Head Jokes,  Head Jokes,  
    
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Friend: My underwear has a compartment for condoms

Me: I keep instant noodle flavorings in mine
Friend: My underwear has a compartment for condoms

Me: I keep instant noodle flavorings in mine


Memes,  Condom Meme,  Underwear Jokes,  
    
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I might look like I'm listening to you

But in my head I'm doing a Biathlon
I might look like I'm listening to you

But in my head I'm doing a Biathlon


Biathlon Jokes,  Joke Quotes,  
    
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all i care about is biathlon
and like 2 people
and
all i care about is biathlon
and like 2 people
and


Biathlon Jokes,  Beer Jokes And Quotes,  Funny Shirt Slogans,  
    
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Everybody looks better tan
Everybody looks better tan

Funny Tanning Slogans,  Funny Slogans,  Joke Quotes,  
    
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"Fun-size" candy bars are smaller than some of the pills in my medicine cabinet.
"Fun-size" candy bars are smaller than some of the pills in my medicine cabinet.

Candy Bar Jokes,  Medicine Joke,  Funny Adult Facts,  
    
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this squirrel one of the realest  i know. all he wants to do is smoke blunts and bust nuts.
this squirrel one of the realest i know. all he wants to do is smoke blunts and bust nuts.

Memes,  Funny Squirrel Images,  Animal Humor,  
    
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My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.

Funny Quotes,  Squirrel Jokes,  Bad Animal Jokes,  
    
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