Funny Lawyer Jokes

 – 44 total
''Of course I favor gay marriage. I can use the business!''
''Of course I favor gay marriage. I can use the business!''

Funny Lawyer Quotes,  Lawyer Jokes One Liners,  
    
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"the lawyer in me says go easy on this, but the pit-bull in me says sue the s!"
"the lawyer in me says go easy on this, but the pit-bull in me says sue the s!"

Lawsuit Jokes,  Pitbull Jokes,  Lawyers Jokes,  
    
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Lawsuit

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Lawsuit

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.


Funny Lawyer Quotes,  Lawsuit Jokes,  
    
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Man in hospital bed has two buttons: 
1) Nurse 
2) Lawyer
Man in hospital bed has two buttons:
1) Nurse
2) Lawyer


Injury Jokes,  Hospital Jokes One Liners,  Hospital Jokes,  
    
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'' I'm a defense attorney. A young man by the name of Billy asked me to meet him here. ''
'' I'm a defense attorney. A young man by the name of Billy asked me to meet him here. ''

Principal Jokes,  
    
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So, you chose those lawyers because of their 'no win, no charge' promise? And you won?

Tell me then, how much did you get charged?
So, you chose those lawyers because of their 'no win, no charge' promise? And you won?

Tell me then, how much did you get charged?


Willy Wonka Meme (theme),  Lawyers Jokes,  
    
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Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

Best Lawyer Quotes,  Writing Jokes,  
    
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Lawyers

Lawyers everywhere
Lawyers

Lawyers everywhere


Lawyers Jokes,  Everywhere Meme (theme),  
    
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I may not be an actual lawyer 

But I bark at the one on tv
I may not be an actual lawyer

But I bark at the one on tv


Best Lawyer Quotes,  Lawyer Dog (theme),  
    
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extreme makeover trial edition

exhibit a

the lengths to which defendants will go to try to influence jurors opinions of them.
extreme makeover trial edition

exhibit a

the lengths to which defendants will go to try to influence jurors opinions of them.


Memes,  Jodi Arias Memes,  
    
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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn". She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500. The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Funny Blonde Jokes,  Best Joke Ever,  Funny Jokes For Blondes  
    
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Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?

A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.


Court Room Jokes,  Court Humor  
    
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A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Good Quick Jokes,  Best Lawyer Quotes  
    
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Lawyer

What my friends think I do

What my mom thinks I do

What my society thinks I do

What I think I do

What clients think I do

What actually I do
KAPPITS (1)
Law: Reality v Perception
Lawyer

What my friends think I do

What my mom thinks I do

What my society thinks I do

What I think I do

What clients think I do

What actually I do


What People Think I Do,  Lawyer Humor  
    
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Being a lawyer

Expectations

Objection!

Reality
Being a lawyer

Expectations

Objection!

Reality


Lawyer Humor,  Reality Jokes,  Expectation Vs Reality Jokes,  
    
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