Funny Marriage Advice For Bride

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If you marry a Pakistani man then...

Beware of 'Ammi Jaan'; the mother-in-law

You will live with his parents and siblings and relatives; forget about privacy! 

No dowry, no hubby! 

It's your baby! Your produced it you take care of it!
If you marry a Pakistani man then...

Beware of 'Ammi Jaan'; the mother-in-law

You will live with his parents and siblings and relatives; forget about privacy!

No dowry, no hubby!

It's your baby! Your produced it you take care of it!


Funny Jokes,  Mother In Law Jokes One Liners,  
    
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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0  and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly  in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly in Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me.html, download Tears 6.2 and be sure to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, please remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and HotLingerie 7.7.

Tech Support
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly in Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me.html, download Tears 6.2 and be sure to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, please remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and HotLingerie 7.7.

Tech Support


Funny Quotes,  Husband And Wife Jokes,  Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds,  
    
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marriage advice:

men only have 2 emotions, hungry & rny. 

if you see him witut an erection, make him a sandwich.
marriage advice:

men only have 2 emotions, hungry & rny.

if you see him witut an erection, make him a sandwich.


Marriage Advice Funny,  Funny Ecards For Her,  Horny Jokes,  
    
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NEVER take marriage advice from someone who's been married more than twice.
NEVER take marriage advice from someone who's been married more than twice.

Funny Marriage Advice Quotes,  Funny Wedding Advice,  Funny Wedding Ecard,  
    
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Spoil him by doing all the household chores, taking care of the kids, running errands, and letting him just come back home, eat, watch TV and go to bed, for some days. If the guilt over your hard work does not kick in within a few days, you can always go shopping at his expense!

Funny Marital Advice,  Marriage Advice Funny,  Chore Jokes  
    
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Before you marry him, listen to him chew; if you can stand that noise the rest of your life, go ahead with the wedding. Trust me on this one.
Before you marry him, listen to him chew; if you can stand that noise the rest of your life, go ahead with the wedding. Trust me on this one.

Funny Wedding Advice Quotes,  Funny Email Cards,  Bride Jokes  
    
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Never buy a "new" brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

Marriage Humor Jokes,  Husband And Wife Jokes,  Marriage Humor,  
    
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"Sports Report" starts at 5pm on a Saturday and runs for one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your mother.

Marriage Humor Jokes,  Husband And Wife Jokes,  Marriage Humor,  
    
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If you can't make a simple question sound like an accusation, you're not qualified to be married.

Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds,  Marriage Advice Funny,  
    
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you want a ring?

take ya pne off silent !
you want a ring?

take ya pne off silent !


Male Chauvinist Jokes,  Chauvinist Jokes,  Anti Woman Jokes  
    
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When you are standing at the altar gazing into your future husband's eyes listening to the minister talk about your future as husband and wife, don't picture the young and vibrant man in front of you. Picture less hair, a few less teeth, more wrinkles, an age spot or two... picture a few more chins and a couple of wiry black hairs sticking prominantly out of one ear and an even longer one out of one nostril. Gaze lovingly down and picture a little belly hanging over a somewhat shriveled and shrunken hoohoo.

If you can picture this and still want to marry this man, continue gazing into his eyes and say "I do...". :D


Funny Advice For The Bride,  Funny Wedding Advice Quotes  
    
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If you can't continually answer a question with a question then marriage may not be for you.

Funny Marriage Advice,  Funny Marriage Advice For Men,  
    
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