Funny Marriage Quotes

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Here you will find quotes like ‘happy wife happy life', ‘marriage is 50-50’ ‘sleeping with the enemy’ and ‘celibacy has no pleasures’. These are just a few of the funny marriage quotes that you will find in this section.

We have the absolute best funny marriage quotes that you can be find all over the Internet. We have looked across the whole of the web and added the best ones we could find, including the ones you have sent us.

While you are here, please take the time to enjoy our collection of quotes, jokes and meme. You can rate all of your favorite ones and share with all of your friends. We are always adding items to the site be sure you check back here often.
You're the one I want to become old, fat, and celibate with for the rest of my life.
You're the one I want to become old, fat, and celibate with for the rest of my life.

Funny Quotes About Marriage,  Celibacy Jokes,  
    
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"I like women. I don't understand them, but I like them."
"I like women. I don't understand them, but I like them."

Sean Connery Jokes,  Funny Sayings About Women,  Jokes For Men About Women,  
    
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I believe in arranged marriages, but only between attractive people.
I believe in arranged marriages, but only between attractive people.

Arranged Marriage Jokes,  Bad Marriage Jokes,  Marriage Joke,  
    
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Best wishes on your arranged marriage and may you arrange to get out of this horrifying situation as soon as possible.
Best wishes on your arranged marriage and may you arrange to get out of this horrifying situation as soon as possible.

Arranged Marriage Jokes,  Short Marriage Jokes,  Funny Marriage Wishes,  
    
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Nothing says well ordered like an arranged marriage.
Nothing says well ordered like an arranged marriage.

Arranged Marriage Jokes,  Funny Wedding Jokes,  
    
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marriage

because your ty day doesn't have to end at work.
marriage

because your ty day doesn't have to end at work.


Memes,  Funny Marriage Sayings,  
    
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ima get married, be at the altar like "you really  wit me huh?"
ima get married, be at the altar like "you really wit me huh?"

Funny Jokes,  Funny Quotes On Marriage,  Marriage Funny,  
    
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Marriage in our generation is going to be like "remember our first Netflix and chill honey?"
Marriage in our generation is going to be like "remember our first Netflix and chill honey?"

Funny Jokes,  Netflix And Chill,  
    
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Marry someone who can cook. Looks fade, hunger doesn't.
Marry someone who can cook. Looks fade, hunger doesn't.

Funny Jokes,  Marriage Humor Jokes,  
    
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wever invented marriage was creepy as . like, hey you, i love you so much, i'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave.
wever invented marriage was creepy as . like, hey you, i love you so much, i'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave.

Funny Quotes,  Creeper Meme,  
    
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my future wife probably laid up with some  right now thinking they gon last forever and ... alright, see yo  in a couple years
my future wife probably laid up with some right now thinking they gon last forever and ... alright, see yo in a couple years

Funny Quotes,  Wife Humor,  Future Jokes,  
    
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I came from a big family.

As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Lewis Grizzard
I came from a big family.

As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Lewis Grizzard


Jokes On Marriage Life,  Lewis Grizzard Jokes,  Good Family Jokes,  
    
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I don't think I'll get married again.

I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
I don't think I'll get married again.

I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.


Short Marriage Jokes,  Lewis Grizzard Jokes,  Funny Quotes About Women  
    
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oh, so w did the marrige counsling go? well let's just say after it was over there where two people w tught i was an . and i was paying both of 'um.
oh, so w did the marrige counsling go? well let's just say after it was over there where two people w tught i was an . and i was paying both of 'um.

Funny Quotes,  Hilarious Marriage Jokes,  Adult Marriage Jokes,  
    
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you gotta marry someone you know you'll still wanna  when you're 45 in the back of your mini van when the kids are at soccer practice
you gotta marry someone you know you'll still wanna when you're 45 in the back of your mini van when the kids are at soccer practice

Funny Quotes,  Funny Couple Quotes,  
    
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