Funny Medical Sayings

 – 40 total
Nurse: Sir you've been in a coma since 2006

Rick: Best I can do is 2014
Nurse: Sir you've been in a coma since 2006

Rick: Best I can do is 2014


Memes,  Coma Jokes,  Nurse Meme,  
    
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Dr: I have some bad news. You're going to be a vegan.

Boy: A vegetable?

Dr: No, a vegan

Boy: God no
Dr: I have some bad news. You're going to be a vegan.

Boy: A vegetable?

Dr: No, a vegan

Boy: God no


Memes,  Hospital Humor,  Patient Jokes,  
    
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Nurse: I'm sorry but you won't be getting your meds today.

Woman: Because you ran out?

Nurse. No because you're going to die.
Nurse: I'm sorry but you won't be getting your meds today.

Woman: Because you ran out?

Nurse. No because you're going to die.


Memes,  Funny Nurse Quotes,  Dying Jokes,  
    
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Doctor: Now I have to inform you, there's only a 50% chance surviving this procedure

Kid: Let's do it twice then
Doctor: Now I have to inform you, there's only a 50% chance surviving this procedure

Kid: Let's do it twice then


Memes,  Hospital Meme,  Surgery Jokes,  
    
100%

doc: wow these z-rays look great

guy: well i'm glad i'm healthy 

doc: oh no these are mine, you're all ed up man
doc: wow these z-rays look great

guy: well i'm glad i'm healthy

doc: oh no these are mine, you're all ed up man


Memes,  Doctor Meme,  X Ray Jokes,  
    
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So you need a refill and you don't know what the drug is called? But its white and round you say???
So you need a refill and you don't know what the drug is called? But its white and round you say???

Ecard Humor,  Drug Jokes,  Customer Jokes,  
    
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Me after 11 seasons of Grey's Anatomy
Me after 11 seasons of Grey's Anatomy

Memes,  Tv Show Memes,  Netflix Jokes,  
    
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"Spending less time with your HD TV will result in your having less HD cholesterol."
"Spending less time with your HD TV will result in your having less HD cholesterol."

Cholesterol Jokes,  Funny Health Quotes,  Body Health Jokes,  
    
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I don't often get a colonoscopy

But when I do I crap my brains out
I don't often get a colonoscopy

But when I do I crap my brains out


Memes,  Colonoscopy Jokes,  
    
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If he dies it's your fault

If he lives it's a miracle
If he dies it's your fault

If he lives it's a miracle


Memes,  Funny Jesus Pictures,  Surgeon Jokes,  
    
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"Most surgeons sew, but knotting relaxes me. "
"Most surgeons sew, but knotting relaxes me. "

Funny Jokes,  Medical Jokes One Liners,  Sewing Puns,  
    
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What I do I do every day?

Decipher doctors scribbles and count five pills at a time.
What I do I do every day?

Decipher doctors scribbles and count five pills at a time.


Funny Jokes,  Pharmacist Jokes,  Pharmacy Jokes,  
    
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does it hurt? can i get you a  or something?

why no one uses mid husbands...
does it hurt? can i get you a or something?

why no one uses mid husbands...


Funny Jokes,  Nursing Jokes,  
    
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Sorry, sir, we don't have the facilities for a CAT scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report
Sorry, sir, we don't have the facilities for a CAT scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report

Meme,  Labrador Retriever Jokes,  
    
100%

Psst, PRN doesnt mean Per Request by Nurse it means I will give only if its actually indicated. 

-Respiratory Therapist
Psst, PRN doesnt mean Per Request by Nurse it means I will give only if its actually indicated.

-Respiratory Therapist


Funny Ecards,  Nursing Humor,  Therapist Jokes,  
    
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