Funny Parent Quotes

 – 111 total
Don't tell your dad how much money we spent today

What's a phrase you can't wait to use on your kids?
Don't tell your dad how much money we spent today

What's a phrase you can't wait to use on your kids?


Memes,  Funny Parenting Quotes,  
    
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At this point in my life, I'm not longer a snack. I'm a happy meal. I come with toys and kids.
At this point in my life, I'm not longer a snack. I'm a happy meal. I come with toys and kids.

Memes,  Food Puns,  
    
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Me to my kids "You is smart. You is kind. You is important. You is too loud. You is aging me. You is expensive."
Me to my kids "You is smart. You is kind. You is important. You is too loud. You is aging me. You is expensive."

Memes,  Funny Sayings About Kids,  Jokes About Children,  
    
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You don't know fear until a toddler rears back their hand to throw a toy at your face from 3 inches away
You don't know fear until a toddler rears back their hand to throw a toy at your face from 3 inches away

Memes,  Bad Toddlers,  
    
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Joe Budden as a father: "I don't care if it's not fun! It's L, M, N, O, P... not ELIMINOPEE. Do your ABC's again."
Joe Budden as a father: "I don't care if it's not fun! It's L, M, N, O, P... not ELIMINOPEE. Do your ABC's again."

Memes,  Rapper Meme,  
    
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He looks like his father
He looks like his father

Memes,  New Baby Jokes,  Funny Pregnancy Images,  
    
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"Can I go out?"

My mom: I need names, numbers address, socials, license plates, you naaaaame it!
"Can I go out?"

My mom: I need names, numbers address, socials, license plates, you naaaaame it!


Memes,  Moms Be Like,  Shirley Caesar Meme,  
    
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Me: You think we'll have cute kids?

Wife: We have kids silly

Me: Sure but they're ugly
Me: You think we'll have cute kids?

Wife: We have kids silly

Me: Sure but they're ugly


Memes,  Cute Kid Jokes,  
    
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"when we get in the store don't touch  , don't ask for  cause you ain't getting "
"when we get in the store don't touch , don't ask for cause you ain't getting "

Memes,  Funny Mom Sayings,  Store Jokes,  
    
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me: mom i can't find it !

mom: if i come in there and find it, ima  yo !

me:
me: mom i can't find it !

mom: if i come in there and find it, ima yo !

me:


Memes,  Funny Mom Quotes,  Mr Krabs Meme,  
    
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dad: cut it up real small so u don't cke babe

mom: what are u gonna teach me w to swallow next?

dad: too late now...right kids?...lol
dad: cut it up real small so u don't cke babe

mom: what are u gonna teach me w to swallow next?

dad: too late now...right kids?...lol


Memes,  
    
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"If I win power ball I'm going to pay someone to clean my kids room and with the other $8 I'm going to buy chicken wings."
"If I win power ball I'm going to pay someone to clean my kids room and with the other $8 I'm going to buy chicken wings."

Tim Hawkins Jokes,  Lottery Jokes,  
    
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when my kids are teenagers i'ma be like

i didn't get no ing sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gonna get no sleep cause of me!
when my kids are teenagers i'ma be like

i didn't get no ing sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gonna get no sleep cause of me!


Memes,  Funny Witty Quotes,  
    
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Foreign parents will never be proud of you.

Dad: How old are you?

Me: 18

Dad: When I was your age I was 19
Foreign parents will never be proud of you.

Dad: How old are you?

Me: 18

Dad: When I was your age I was 19


Memes,  Foreigner Jokes,  Nick Young Memes,  
    
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oh yay it friday

oh wait a minute i have kids, friday doesn't mean
oh yay it friday

oh wait a minute i have kids, friday doesn't mean


Mary Poppins Jokes,  Jokes About Friday,  Friday Humor Jokes,  
    
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