Funny Quotes About Marriage

 – 37 total
                  
You're the one I want to become old, fat, and celibate with for the rest of my life.
You're the one I want to become old, fat, and celibate with for the rest of my life.

Celibacy Jokes,  Funny Marriage Quotes,  
    
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five years from now i'll be stabbing you with this same knife. enjoy the cake ney!
five years from now i'll be stabbing you with this same knife. enjoy the cake ney!

Wedding One Liners,  Good Wedding Jokes,  Funny Wedding Ecards,  
    
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There is a reason why engagement rhymes with entrapment and imprisonment
There is a reason why engagement rhymes with entrapment and imprisonment

Funny Engagement Sayings,  Engagement Jokes,  Marriage Jokes In English,  
    
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I can tell their marriage will last forever :)
I can tell their marriage will last forever :)

Memes,  Happy Marriage Jokes,  
    
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I can't wait until I never get married.
I can't wait until I never get married.

Funny Jokes,  Jokes On Marriage,  Being Single Quotes,  
    
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No matter how miserable you are, there's always someone on Facebook to make you glad you didn't marry them.
No matter how miserable you are, there's always someone on Facebook to make you glad you didn't marry them.

Funny Ecards,  Facebook Funny Jokes,  
    
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Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.
Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.

Funny Quotes,  Funny Marriage Advice,  
    
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Be grateful that your partner chose you voluntarily.
Be grateful that your partner chose you voluntarily.

Funny Quotes,  Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds,  Funny Wedding Jokes,  
    
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I'm not upset about my divorce.  I'm only upset I'm not a widow.

--Roseanne Barr
I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow.

--Roseanne Barr


Funny Quotes,  Funny Divorce Quotes,  Widow Jokes,  
    
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Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.
Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

Funny Quotes,  Getting Married Jokes,  Funny Marriage Facts,  
    
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The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

Funny Quotes,  Happy Jokes,  Funny Happiness Quotes,  
    
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Funny Quotes,  Marriage Advice Funny,  Marriage One Liners,  
    
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Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.
Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.

Funny Quotes,  Funny Marriage Facts,  
    
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My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.

Funny Ecards,  Best Laughing Jokes,  
    
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In our marriage everything is 50/50.  I cook, he eats.  I wash, he wears.  I shop, he pays.
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays.

Funny Ecards,  Happy Marriage Jokes,  
    
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