Funny Retirement Quotes

 – 34 total
How late do you expect to be working?

Late... 70 to 72 years old.
How late do you expect to be working?

Late... 70 to 72 years old.


Retirement Humor,  Old Age Jokes One Liners,  
    
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It's not your work ethic that bothers me, it's the fact that you still show up for work even though you're retired
It's not your work ethic that bothers me, it's the fact that you still show up for work even though you're retired

Funny Retirement Images,  Funny Work Quotes,  
    
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This year I'm going to quit my job, divorce my wife, close my swiss bank account and move to Ecuador.
This year I'm going to quit my job, divorce my wife, close my swiss bank account and move to Ecuador.

Ecuador Jokes,  Bank Jokes,  
    
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''Well basically, after Y2K, the Rapture, and the Mayans, my retirement plan is pretty much dependent on an asteroid hitting the Earth.''
''Well basically, after Y2K, the Rapture, and the Mayans, my retirement plan is pretty much dependent on an asteroid hitting the Earth.''

Mayan Jokes,  Retirement Jokes,  
    
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Don't worry about having enough money after retirement. You only need a lot of money if you plan on living a long time.
Don't worry about having enough money after retirement. You only need a lot of money if you plan on living a long time.

Funny Retirement Wishes,  Short Funny Jokes,  
    
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happy 65th birthday!

here's your retirement plan.
happy 65th birthday!

here's your retirement plan.


65th Birthday Jokes,  65 Year Old Jokes,  65 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  
    
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Dear lord baby Jesus 

Please help Calvin Johnson decide not to retire
KAPPITS (2)
Jim: Dear Lord Baby Jesus protect Jimmy from dying in a firey car wreck on his last day at work
Jim: Dear Lord Baby Jesus
Dear lord baby Jesus

Please help Calvin Johnson decide not to retire


Memes,  Calvin Johnson Memes,  
    
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I am 85, I must retire

That's cute.
I am 85, I must retire

That's cute.


Queen Elizabeth Meme,  Pope Jokes,  
    
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so long les!

proctologist retirement parties
so long les!

proctologist retirement parties


Memes,  Retirement Party Jokes,  
    
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Peyton broke my record?

Shit... Alright I'm coming out of retirement
Peyton broke my record?

Shit... Alright I'm coming out of retirement


Funny Jokes,  Peyton Manning Jokes,  Brett Favre Jokes,  
    
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Truth is

I am never going to retire
Truth is

I am never going to retire


Memes,  Brett Favre Meme,  
    
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Derek Jeter and Jeff Gordon retire from their respective sports one year from each other.

Childhood over!!!!!!
Derek Jeter and Jeff Gordon retire from their respective sports one year from each other.

Childhood over!!!!!!


Memes,  Jeff Gordon Jokes,  Derek Jeter Jokes,  
    
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when you retire at 70 just remember w is responsible

the continuous lies this man has told to the australian public just to gain power have given us all the s#@t$
when you retire at 70 just remember w is responsible

the continuous lies this man has told to the australian public just to gain power have given us all the s#@t$


Memes,  Tony Abbott Meme,  
    
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67 year old pne sex worker?

she's still got three years to go!
67 year old pne sex worker?

she's still got three years to go!


Memes,  Tony Abbott Meme,  
    
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I don't always retire

But when I do... I don't
I don't always retire

But when I do... I don't


Memes,  Brett Favre Meme,  
    
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