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Funny Sarcastic Sayings
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– 113 total
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"Yanny" or "Laurel" the audio clip thats tearing the interne...
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We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.
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The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
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"Sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere"
Me: Well it got me to the sarcasm World Championships in Peru in 98
"Really?'
Me: No
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*Sees someone that my friend doesn't like*
My brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Me: There's your bestie
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Can't wait for Thanksgiving I love it when my grandma tells me ive gained weight
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Do men still open car doors
How else ima get in that mf
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"Are you closed??????"
No Ma'am, we actually just decided to lock the front and start mopping for fun
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Beyond excited to announce that I'm giving up! I'm so grateful for this opportunity and can't wait to see where this decision takes me
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"Oh...there go your lil girlfriend"
"Why you aint say hi?"
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City Officials: You need to evacuate
Floridians: You need to evacuate
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You won't be mad at me for being late if you stop thinking I'm gonna be on time.
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I hate when ppl put group pics on Tinder like how am I supposed to know which one's Bret
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At the restaurant:
Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?
Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please
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Thank God for your sign! Was totally about to smash into your minivan but then read about your tiny human and decided to drive safely.
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I saw your lil "girlfriend" today
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