Funny Sarcastic Sayings

 – 113 total
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Memes,  Funny Kitchen Jokes,  
    
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The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Memes,  Usa Jokes,  
    
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"Sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere" Me: Well it got me to the sarcasm World Championships in Peru in 98 "Really?' Me: No
"Sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere"

Me: Well it got me to the sarcasm World Championships in Peru in 98

"Really?'

Me: No

Memes,  Funny Sarcasm Quotes,  Funny Sarcasm,  
    
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*Sees someone that my friend doesn't like* My brain: Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Me: There's your bestie
*Sees someone that my friend doesn't like*

My brain:

Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it

Me: There's your bestie

Memes,  Best Friend Humor,  
    
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Can't wait for Thanksgiving I love it when my grandma tells me ive gained weight
Can't wait for Thanksgiving I love it when my grandma tells me ive gained weight

Memes,  Overweight Jokes,  Thanksgiving Jokes,  
    
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Do men still open car doors How else ima get in that mf
Do men still open car doors

How else ima get in that mf

Memes,  Chivalry Jokes,  
    
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"Are you closed??????" No Ma'am, we actually just decided to lock the front and start mopping for fun
"Are you closed??????"

No Ma'am, we actually just decided to lock the front and start mopping for fun

Memes,  Funny Work Sayings,  
    
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Beyond excited to announce that I'm giving up! I'm so grateful for this opportunity and can't wait to see where this decision takes me
Beyond excited to announce that I'm giving up! I'm so grateful for this opportunity and can't wait to see where this decision takes me

Silly Inspirational Quotes,  Motivational Jokes,  
    
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"Oh...there go your lil girlfriend" "Why you aint say hi?"
"Oh...there go your lil girlfriend"

"Why you aint say hi?"

Memes,  Beyonce Memes,  Jay Z Meme,  
    
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City Officials: You need to evacuate Floridians: You need to evacuate
City Officials: You need to evacuate

Floridians: You need to evacuate

Memes,  Florida Jokes,  Mocking Spongebob Meme,  
    
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You won't be mad at me for being late if you stop thinking I'm gonna be on time.
You won't be mad at me for being late if you stop thinking I'm gonna be on time.

Memes,  Late Jokes,  Roll Safe Meme,  
    
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I hate when ppl put group pics on Tinder like how am I supposed to know which one's Bret
I hate when ppl put group pics on Tinder like how am I supposed to know which one's Bret

Memes,  Tinder Jokes,  Picture Jokes,  
    
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At the restaurant: Waitress: Hi, would u like a table? Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please
At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please

Memes,  Restaurant Jokes,  Smart Alec Jokes,  
    
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Thank God for your sign! Was totally about to smash into your minivan but then read about your tiny human and decided to drive safely.
Thank God for your sign! Was totally about to smash into your minivan but then read about your tiny human and decided to drive safely.

Memes,  Sign Jokes,  Funny Baby Slogans,  
    
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I saw your lil "girlfriend" today
I saw your lil "girlfriend" today

Memes,  Girls Be Like,  Arthur Memes,  
    
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