Funny Tweet Jokes

 – 230 total
Me: Eats all the damn time and doesn't workout

My body: *gains weight*

Me: The audacity...
Me: Eats all the damn time and doesn't workout

My body: *gains weight*

Me: The audacity...


Memes,  Weight Joke,  
    
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After you defeat all the other landscapers, you must face the final boss:
After you defeat all the other landscapers, you must face the final boss:

Memes,  Funny Captioned Pictures,  
    
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This may be my last tweet
This may be my last tweet

Memes,  Slavery Jokes,  
    
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I just worry that people are forgetting what Prime day is really about and who died to make it possible.
I just worry that people are forgetting what Prime day is really about and who died to make it possible.

Memes,  Transformers Meme,  
    
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I feel like scientists should sometimes just keep things to themselves

Astronomers find giant black hole as big as 12 billion suns
I feel like scientists should sometimes just keep things to themselves

Astronomers find giant black hole as big as 12 billion suns


Memes,  Space Jokes,  Scientist Jokes,  
    
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*Ok, dont let them know ur a chicken*

Interviewer: What do u like

Me: Not crossing the road
*Ok, dont let them know ur a chicken*

Interviewer: What do u like

Me: Not crossing the road


Memes,  Chicken Meme,  Chicken Cross The Road Jokes,  
    
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How I look at kids when they say they wish they were grown up
How I look at kids when they say they wish they were grown up

Memes,  Jokes About Kids,  Growing Up Jokes,  
    
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why the  did you send it to me then
why the did you send it to me then

Memes,  Money Jokes One Liners,  Mail Jokes,  
    
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When the nap so good you have to save it for later
When the nap so good you have to save it for later

Memes,  Nap Jokes,  Bed Meme,  
    
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When you're trash but you're still better than everyone else.
When you're trash but you're still better than everyone else.

Memes,  Trash Jokes,  Cocky Jokes,  
    
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hr: do remember tweeting "white es  taste like mayonnaise flavored ice cubes" on june 8th, 2013
hr: do remember tweeting "white es taste like mayonnaise flavored ice cubes" on june 8th, 2013

Memes,  Funny Interview Jokes,  
    
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Ladies, get you a man who can do this
Ladies, get you a man who can do this

Funny Love Advice,  False Teeth Jokes,  
    
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do you remember tweeting "srty in the blue got a fat " 5 minutes before walking in here?
do you remember tweeting "srty in the blue got a fat " 5 minutes before walking in here?

Memes,  Job Interview Jokes,  
    
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someone; are you doing alright

me: yeah i'm fine

someone: well you tweeted about killing yourself 367 times

me:

- you got me there
someone; are you doing alright

me: yeah i'm fine

someone: well you tweeted about killing yourself 367 times

me:

- you got me there


Memes,  
    
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when a e let the wle od smash and she tweets "im pregnant"
when a e let the wle od smash and she tweets "im pregnant"

Memes,  Mr Krabs Meme,  
    
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