Great Comedy Jokes For Stand Up

 – 11 total
I hate when people ask me to 'watch their stuff'. What if someone comes & actually tries to steal it? Do I have to fight them? I'm not ready
I hate when people ask me to 'watch their stuff'. What if someone comes & actually tries to steal it? Do I have to fight them? I'm not ready

Funny Quotes,  Funny Random Stuff,  Funny Everyday Thoughts,  
    
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jeff: there's a lot of history in this city...

peanut: translated: old. as .
jeff: there's a lot of history in this city...

peanut: translated: old. as .


Funny Quotes,  Funny Stand Up Jokes By Comedians,  
    
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I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming "No, that's not what I said!" 

-Dave Attell
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming "No, that's not what I said!"

-Dave Attell


Memes,  Dave Attell Jokes,  
    
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Never send a woman for an oil change. They can't take the pressure. Turn a 30$ oil change into a 600$ overhaul. I get the bill, "Honey, what is this?"

"They guy said we were totally out of blinker fluid, omigosh! You mean, I've been driving around the cit with no blinker fluid for how long?

Do you never check the blinker fluid? Do you want me to die?! Is that your plan?!
Never send a woman for an oil change. They can't take the pressure. Turn a 30$ oil change into a 600$ overhaul. I get the bill, "Honey, what is this?"

"They guy said we were totally out of blinker fluid, omigosh! You mean, I've been driving around the cit with no blinker fluid for how long?

Do you never check the blinker fluid? Do you want me to die?! Is that your plan?!


Memes,  Sexist Jokes,  Tim Hawkins Jokes,  
    
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eddie murphy's raw - white people can't dance [hd]

Eddie Murphy's RAW - White People Can't Dance [HD]
eddie murphy's raw - white people can't dance [hd]

White People Jokes That Are Funny,  Black And White People Jokes,  Funny Video,  Eddie Murphy Jokes,  
    
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"i'd like to die like my father died. my father died ing. my father was 57 when he died. the woman was 18. my father came and went at the same time."
"i'd like to die like my father died. my father died ing. my father was 57 when he died. the woman was 18. my father came and went at the same time."

Richard Pryor Jokes,  Comedy Images With Quotes,  
    
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y'all ever had a friend that borrow your sh*t,

and keep it so long you had to borrow it back?
y'all ever had a friend that borrow your sh*t,

and keep it so long you had to borrow it back?


Funny Friendship Sayings,  Funny Jokes About Friends,  Best Friend Humor,  Chris Tucker Jokes,  
    
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Being an ugly girl is like being a man...

You're going to have to work.
Being an ugly girl is like being a man...

You're going to have to work.


Daniel Tosh Joke,  Daniel Tosh Jokes Quotes,  Funny Stand Up Jokes By Comedians,  
    
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I was in a supermarket the other day 

And a great looking girl happened to turn and look my way Just as she did, I was in the middle of a yawn...
I was in a supermarket the other day

And a great looking girl happened to turn and look my way Just as she did, I was in the middle of a yawn...


Jokes Stand Up,  Good Stand Up Jokes,  Hilarious Stand Up Comedy Jokes  
    
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more snippets from jamie foxx comedy dvd "i might need security"

Jamie foxx on the Talibans
more snippets from jamie foxx comedy dvd "i might need security"

Airplane Jokes,  Offensive Jokes,  Best Stand Up Comedy Jokes,  
    
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i would give a 

but see, the way my feelings are setup...
i would give a

but see, the way my feelings are setup...


Kevin Hart Jokes,  Comedian Jokes,  Best Stand Up Comedy Jokes,  
    
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