Great Jewish Jokes

 – 34 total
can't wait to get wasted with you in observance of purim even tugh i'm not remotely jewish.
can't wait to get wasted with you in observance of purim even tugh i'm not remotely jewish.

Purim Jokes,  Jewish Jokes One Liners,  
    
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One does not simply

Not go to Purim carnival
One does not simply

Not go to Purim carnival


Purim Jokes,  One Does Not Simply Memes,  One Does Not Simply (theme),  
    
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miss pronounce purim again

i dare you, i double you
miss pronounce purim again

i dare you, i double you


Purim Jokes,  Samuel L Jackson Meme,  
    
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You get to keep your first born! 

You get to keep your first born!
You get to keep your first born!

You get to keep your first born!


Memes,  Passover Memes,  Passover Jokes,  
    
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the story of pover

god kills a bunch of babies, except for the jewish ones.

the end.
the story of pover

god kills a bunch of babies, except for the jewish ones.

the end.


Funny Jokes,  Passover Jokes,  Jewish Humor,  
    
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Bat Mitzvah
Bat Mitzvah

Funny Jokes,  Bat Puns,  Batman Puns,  
    
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jewerine

will bring peace to the middle east
jewerine

will bring peace to the middle east


Demotivational Posters,  Good Jewish Jokes,  Funny Jewish Jokes,  Wolverine Memes,  
    
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dear hanukkah claus..hannukah klaus? chanukkah clause?

eh,  it.
dear hanukkah claus..hannukah klaus? chanukkah clause?

eh, it.


Funny Ecards,  Hanukkah Jokes,  Funny Hanukkah Ecards,  Funny Jewish Ecards,  
    
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Celebrating the death and resurrection of a jewish man

Serving ham for dinner
Celebrating the death and resurrection of a jewish man

Serving ham for dinner


Best Jewish Joke,  Ham Puns,  Hawkward Meme (theme),  
    
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Why do we have big noses?

Air is free
Why do we have big noses?

Air is free


Riddle Funny Jokes,  Funny Big Nose Jokes,  Best Comedy Joke,  Jewish Nose Jokes,  
    
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An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a younger man. He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of shirt collar. Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man, "Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"

The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered, "I wear this collar because I am a Father."

The Jewish man thought a second and responded, "Sir I am also a Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"

The priest thought for a minute and said "Sir, I am the Father for many."

The Jewish man quickly answered, "I am the Father of many, too. I have four sons, four daughters and more grandchildren than I can count. Still, I wear my collar just like everybody else. Why do you wear it your way?"

The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then blurted out, "Sir, I am the Father to hundreds of people."

The Jewish man was taken aback and was silent for a long time. As he got up to leave the subway train, he leaned over to the priest and said, "Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backwards."


Old Jew Jokes,  Gay Insults  
    
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Sammy has stolen the rabbi's gold watch.

He didn't feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepless night.

to go to the rabbi.

'Rabbi, I stole a gold watch.'

'But Sammy ! That's forbidden! You should return it immediately !'

'What shall I do ?'

'Give it back to the owner.'

'Do you want it ?'

'No, I said return it to its owner.'

'But he doesn't want it.'

'In that case, you can keep it.'


Old Jew Jokes,  Jewish Insults,  Thief Jokes,  Theft Jokes,  
    
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In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, G-d got tired of creating the world, so he took
the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

David fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.


Funny Kids Sayings,  Bible Humor,  Biblical Jokes,  
    
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Q - What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish women?

A - "Is ANYTHING all right?"


Waiter Jokes,  Complaining Jokes,  Best Jew Jokes  
    
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