Horoscope

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A Taurus can say the rudest thing and you will still love them.
A Taurus can say the rudest thing and you will still love them.

Taurus Quotes,  Taurus,  
    
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Memes,  Team Aries,  
    
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What Guys Astrological Signs Really Say About Them
Collection of opinions of girls on what guys' astrological signs say about them

Life,  Funny Zodiac,  Funny Jokes On Men,  
    
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Oh, you retweet your horoscope?

You must be so deep and philosophical.
Oh, you retweet your horoscope?

You must be so deep and philosophical.


Meme,  Horoscope Jokes,  
    
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20 Signs You're Totally Dependent On Your Horoscope
Signs that you are dependent on your horoscope

Life,  Funny Horoscopes,  Funny Zodiac Facts,  
    
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10 Signs You're A Total Leo
10 signs you're definitely a Leo

Life,  Funny Zodiac Facts,  Funny Zodiac,  Leo,  
    
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How Each Zodiac Sign Begins a Prayer

ARIES: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!"

TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.

GEMINI: "Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!"

CANCER: "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."

LEO: "Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!"

VIRGO:"Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time."

LIBRA:"Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"

SCORPIO: "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it."

SAGITTARIUS:"OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES --- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!&q uot;

CAPRICORN: "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."

AQUARIUS: "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"

PISCES: "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."


Funny Zodiac,  Zodiac Jokes,  Astrology Online,  
    
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How Many of People of Your Zodiac Sign Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

ARIES: Just one. Wanna make something of it?

TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.

GEMINI: Probably one is best, because if there are more than one, they'll get so wrapped up in talking to each other that they'll forget all about the lightbulb.

CANCER:Only one, but three therapists will be needed to help with the grieving process. OR: Only one, as long as his mommy holds his hand.

LEO: Leos do not change their own lightbulbs. They find someone else to do it for them.

VIRGO:1.11111119873, give or take .00000000000013%.

LIBRA:Well, I could do it, unless of course you'd prefer to do it, but you look sort of busy right now. What do you want to do?

SCORPIO: One, from across the room, if they've learned their teleporting lessons well enough. OR, thanks to one of our website visitors: None, because Scorpios aren't afraid of the dark.

SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got the rest of our lives ahead of us and you're worrying about a stupid light bulb?

CAPRICORN: I don't have time for these foolish jokes.

AQUARIUS:Well, you see, energy is really matter and matter is really energy and light is a form of energy but the light bulb is matter, and--

PISCES: What light bulb?


Funny Zodiac,  Funny Zodiac Facts,  Astrology Online,  
    
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