Husband And Wife Jokes

 – 235 total
                  
Men describing their wives: I knew the moment I saw her she was the one

Women describing their husbands: I  didn't really like his ass at first but he grew on me
Men describing their wives: I knew the moment I saw her she was the one

Women describing their husbands: I didn't really like his ass at first but he grew on me


Memes,  Men Vs Women Jokes,  
    
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Saw a husband tonight trade his plate of good with his wife because she liked what he ordered better & that's the kind of marriage I want
Saw a husband tonight trade his plate of good with his wife because she liked what he ordered better & that's the kind of marriage I want

Memes,  Best Marriage Jokes,  
    
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My wife and I announce when we're going to the bathroom, but it's more a way of saying, "I'm not watching the kids, so if they die in the next 4 minutes it's all your fault."
My wife and I announce when we're going to the bathroom, but it's more a way of saying, "I'm not watching the kids, so if they die in the next 4 minutes it's all your fault."

Memes,  Parenting Jokes,  Parent Humor,  
    
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Me: Exhausted and 15 seconds from falling asleep

My wife: Would you stay with me if we woke up tomorrow and my arms and legs were gone?
Me: Exhausted and 15 seconds from falling asleep

My wife: Would you stay with me if we woke up tomorrow and my arms and legs were gone?


Memes,  Random Funny Sayings,  Funny Random Thoughts,  
    
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Me in the future: "Hey do u still like me, idk ur just being quiet"

My husband: "Babe I'm sleeping"
Me in the future: "Hey do u still like me, idk ur just being quiet"

My husband: "Babe I'm sleeping"


Memes,  Funny Wife Quotes,  
    
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Honey come to bed

Sorry babe gotta protect our bitcoin
Honey come to bed

Sorry babe gotta protect our bitcoin


Memes,  Bitcoin Meme,  
    
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Her: I'm leaving you and taking the kids

Me: That's amazing
Her: I'm leaving you and taking the kids

Me: That's amazing


Memes,  Argument Jokes,  Jokes About Kids,  
    
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counselor: let's start with something you both have in common

guy: well neither of us give the s

counselor: lol  got em
counselor: let's start with something you both have in common

guy: well neither of us give the s

counselor: lol got em


Memes,  Counseling Jokes,  
    
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"i told you it was ing hunting season doreen but noooo, we had to visit your sisters near the lake!"
"i told you it was ing hunting season doreen but noooo, we had to visit your sisters near the lake!"

Memes,  Deer Hunting Jokes,  Funny Deer Jokes,  
    
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My wife is one of the easiest people you'll ever talk to.

All you have to do is listen.
My wife is one of the easiest people you'll ever talk to.

All you have to do is listen.


Wife Bashing Jokes,  Marriage Humor Jokes,  
    
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wife: "wake up! i hear a rat eating last night's dinner.

husband: "go back to sleep, i'll bury it in the morning."
wife: "wake up! i hear a rat eating last night's dinner.

husband: "go back to sleep, i'll bury it in the morning."


Wife Bashing Jokes,  Cooking Jokes,  
    
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wife: off to the  store, mr flaccid

husband: sorry, can't hear you over all these achievements
wife: off to the store, mr flaccid

husband: sorry, can't hear you over all these achievements


Memes,  Argument Jokes,  
    
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My wife and I are expecting a delivery...
My wife and I are expecting a delivery...

Memes,  Pizza Meme,  Delivery Jokes,  
    
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husband: would u like me to cut the pizza

wife: w about u cut the  & start eating my  like a real 

ouch-

haha -

got em-
husband: would u like me to cut the pizza

wife: w about u cut the & start eating my like a real

ouch-

haha -

got em-


Memes,  
    
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her: you aint married to no average  boy, you can watch my fat  twist boy, as i bounce to the next  boy.

him: golly jeepers diane! have you been listening to beyonce again?
her: you aint married to no average boy, you can watch my fat twist boy, as i bounce to the next boy.

him: golly jeepers diane! have you been listening to beyonce again?


Memes,  Lemonade Meme,  
    
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