An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman planned an expedition across the Sahara, and at the appointed time each showed up with a the baggage critical for his survival.
Motioning to his flask, the Englishman say's, "It's going to be thirsty work crossing this desert and I will need a drop to drink!"
Nodding his approval, the Scotsman points out a box full of Haggis's and say's, "It's going to be hungry work all this walking!"
They both look across at the Irishman, who is carrying nothing but a white drivers door off a car. "It's going to be plenty hot out here, "said the Irishman, "and I want to be able to roll down the window!"
An Italian, an Irishman and a black man moved out to California to seek their fortunes. The Italian and the black got jobs straight away, but weeks went by without the Irishman finding employment.
Finally, one evening he announced to his roommates that he had a big interview the next morning at nine and , setting the alarm well ahead of time, he went to bed.
In the middle of the night the other two snuck into his room, smeared his face and hands with coal dust and set the alarm forward. When it went off in the morning, the Irishman leapt from his bed, pulled on his clothes, and dashed off so as not to be late for the critical interview.
The interviewer invited him in with an apologetic expression on his face, "I'm sorry to have brought you here for nothing," the interviewer said, "but I'm afraid we simply do not employ blacks!"
"Blacks?" replied the Irishman, "What are you talking about? My name is Paddy Murphy!"
"I'm so sorry Mr. Murphy," the interviewer said, "but we simply do not make any exceptions in our hiring policy."
"But I'm not black!" shouted the Irishman.
"I'm sorry your taking it so hard." Said the interviewer, "You may think your not black, but have you looked in the mirror lately?"
The Irishman got up and went over to the mirror near the door. Staring in disbelief at his undeniably black reflection, he stammered, "Oh my God! They woke up the wrong guy!"
An Irishman and a Jew were in a bar watching TV when the late night news came on. The first sensational story was of a berserk woman poised on a window ledge 10 stories high.
"I'll bet you a hundred dollars she won't jump!" said the Irishman.
"You got a bet!" replied the Jew, sticking his hand out moments later when the woman jumped to her death. The Irishman sadly gave the money to the Jew and ordered another drink, only to look up in astonishment as the other fellow tugged on his sleeve and tried to hand the hundred dollars back.
"It's all yours," he protested, "You won the bet fair and square!"
"Nah," replied the Jew, "I saw it all happen on the Six o'clock news."
"I saw it happen on the Six o'clock news as well," said the Irishman, "And I never thought that she would do it again at 11!"