Jimmy Carr Jokes

 – 31 total
It's actually easy to tell if your house is haunted

It isn't
It's actually easy to tell if your house is haunted

It isn't


Meme,  Clean Short Jokes,  
    
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They say there is safety in numbers. 

Tell that to six million Jews.
They say there is safety in numbers.

Tell that to six million Jews.


Funny Jokes,  Offensive Jewish Jokes,  
    
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It's just so stupid isn't it, beating your wife. I mean, it's your wife. It's a bit like keying your own car.
It's just so stupid isn't it, beating your wife. I mean, it's your wife. It's a bit like keying your own car.

Funny Jokes,  Violence Jokes,  
    
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Alan, you shouldn't joke about strokes, 

because if you ever have a stroke, you'll be laughing on the other side of your face.
Alan, you shouldn't joke about strokes,

because if you ever have a stroke, you'll be laughing on the other side of your face.


Funny Jokes,  List Of Anti Jokes,  
    
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Well I went to private school

You went to private school? 

Yea

Well that was a waste of money
Well I went to private school

You went to private school?

Yea

Well that was a waste of money


Funny Jokes,  Subtle Insults,  
    
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w do you make a   a woman? 

 in her
w do you make a a woman?

in her


Funny Jokes,  Gay One Liners,  
    
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"let's look at the positive side. hitler and pol pot got a lot of medical research done witut having to test on any animals."
"let's look at the positive side. hitler and pol pot got a lot of medical research done witut having to test on any animals."

Funny Quotes,  Hitler Jokes One Liners,  
    
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"Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven? 

"Cos it looks like you landed on your face."
"Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?

"Cos it looks like you landed on your face."


Funny Jokes,  Funny Rude Insults,  
    
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I tell you what I love, love, love, love and I bet you all love it too. I love the snooze button. 

Cos after eight hours' sleep, I tell you what I need - a nap. 

I wake up in the morning, I'm more tired than when I went to bed the night before. 

I wake up thinking, "I'm exhausted." How tiring is sleep?
I tell you what I love, love, love, love and I bet you all love it too. I love the snooze button.

Cos after eight hours' sleep, I tell you what I need - a nap.

I wake up in the morning, I'm more tired than when I went to bed the night before.

I wake up thinking, "I'm exhausted." How tiring is sleep?


Funny Quotes,  Funny Sleep Sayings,  
    
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A couple married for 66 yrs died within 3 days of each other. That's nothing. My grandparents died on exactly the same day
car crash
A couple married for 66 yrs died within 3 days of each other. That's nothing. My grandparents died on exactly the same day
car crash


Funny Jokes,  Jokes On Marriage Life,  
    
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Countryside is great, unless you want to buy anything go anywhere, do anything or see anyone.
Countryside is great, unless you want to buy anything go anywhere, do anything or see anyone.

Funny Jokes,  Funny Country Sayings,  
    
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20% of Americans think the sun orbits the Earth

Sounds bad until you realise the other 80%

Think it's towed across the sky by Jesus in a chariot
20% of Americans think the sun orbits the Earth

Sounds bad until you realise the other 80%

Think it's towed across the sky by Jesus in a chariot


Funny Jokes,  Funny Untrue Facts,  
    
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i gave my girlfriend an orgasm

...and she spat it back in my face
i gave my girlfriend an orgasm

...and she spat it back in my face


Funny Jokes,  
    
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If you put Mentos into Diet Coke...

You're retarded.
If you put Mentos into Diet Coke...

You're retarded.


Funny Jokes,  Retard Jokes One Liners,  
    
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After ten long years of struggling with the concept of comedy, I've finally found out what a joke is. 

It's me.
After ten long years of struggling with the concept of comedy, I've finally found out what a joke is.

It's me.


Funny Jokes,  List Of Corny Jokes,  
    
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