Jokes For 80 Year Olds

 – 11 total
Enjoy your eighties, because you probably won't remember much of them when you're 90.

Happy Birthday
Enjoy your eighties, because you probably won't remember much of them when you're 90.

Happy Birthday


Funny Happy Birthday Wishes,  80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  
    
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How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the f-word?

Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell BINGO!
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the f-word?

Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell BINGO!


80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  Bingo Jokes,  
    
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Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial.
Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial.

80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  Song Jokes,  
    
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I got an iPad for my 80 birthday. Its the large print version of an iTouch.
I got an iPad for my 80 birthday. Its the large print version of an iTouch.

Ipad Jokes,  80 Year Old Birthday Jokes,  
    
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The best part of cataract surgery:

Getting to wear a cap like your doctor!
The best part of cataract surgery:

Getting to wear a cap like your doctor!


Funny Surgery Jokes,  Jokes For 60 Year Olds,  
    
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New and improved!

80 yr old*

*Please note that our 79 yr old model has been discontinued.
New and improved!

80 yr old*

*Please note that our 79 yr old model has been discontinued.


Funny Pictures,  Funny 80th Birthday Jokes,  
    
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An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how hes feeling.

Ive never been better! he replies. Ive got an 18-year-old bride Whos pregnant and having my child!
What do you think about that?

The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, Well, let me tell you a story.
I know a guy Whos an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day hes in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his wifes umbrella instead of his gun.

So hes in the woods, the doctor continues, and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up the umbrella, by reflex I suppose, points it at the bear, and a shot is heard. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest.

Thats impossible!, says the old man, Someone else must have shot that bear,

The doctor walks the old man to the exit door, shakes his hand, and says, Exactly.


Pregnancy Puns,  
    
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An 86 year old man goes in to his yearly checkup.

His doctor says, "You're looking good, how do you feel?"
The old man says, "I feel great. I have a 25 year old wife who's carrying my baby. What do you think about that?"

The doctor says, "That reminds me of another patient I have who's about your age. He an avid hunter and never misses a season. This past year he went hunting beavers in Canada but when he got to the woods he realized he had forgotten to pack his rifle. To make the best of things he got his lunch and walking stick and went for a hike. After a while he happened upon a beaver tending to his damn. Just to satisfy himself, he raised his walking stick to his cheek like it was his rifle, took aim and said, "Bang. Bang." Just then two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think about that?

The old man said, "Well logic would dictate that there was somebody else out there that plugged the beaver."
His doctor said, "Exactly my point."


Funny Cheating Quotes,  Story Jokes Clean,  Marriage Jokes In English  
    
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An 83 year old woman decided that she had seen and done everything in her life and it was now time to depart this world.

After considering various methods of suicide, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and most surest method would be to shoot herself in the heart.

The trouble was she wasn't certain where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him.

He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple. So she shot herself through the kneecap!


Suicide Jokes,  
    
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You're so old, your social security number is 1.

90th Birthday Jokes,  80 Year Old Jokes,  Old People Joke,  
    
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You're so old, when you read the bible, you reminisce.

Old People Jokes,  Bible Humor,  Funny Bible Jokes,  
    
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