Jokes Stand Up Comedy

 – 30 total
The invention of the shovel was a groundbreaking discovery.

However, it was nothing compared to the broom. That swept the nation
The invention of the shovel was a groundbreaking discovery.

However, it was nothing compared to the broom. That swept the nation


Funny Jokes,  Broom Jokes,  Funny Pun,  
    
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e - cigarettes. have you tried one yet? you end up looking like a ing robot.

no. really. i was using one and had this old lady walk by me and act totally disgusted.

she walked a few feet away and start waving her hands in front of her nose, like "ugh! i don't want to get any of this science on me!

oh no. pretty soon she's going to start believing in evolution.
e - cigarettes. have you tried one yet? you end up looking like a ing robot.

no. really. i was using one and had this old lady walk by me and act totally disgusted.

she walked a few feet away and start waving her hands in front of her nose, like "ugh! i don't want to get any of this science on me!

oh no. pretty soon she's going to start believing in evolution.


Memes,  Funny Comedian Jokes,  Dave Attell Jokes,  
    
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Never send a woman for an oil change. They can't take the pressure. Turn a 30$ oil change into a 600$ overhaul. I get the bill, "Honey, what is this?"

"They guy said we were totally out of blinker fluid, omigosh! You mean, I've been driving around the cit with no blinker fluid for how long?

Do you never check the blinker fluid? Do you want me to die?! Is that your plan?!
Never send a woman for an oil change. They can't take the pressure. Turn a 30$ oil change into a 600$ overhaul. I get the bill, "Honey, what is this?"

"They guy said we were totally out of blinker fluid, omigosh! You mean, I've been driving around the cit with no blinker fluid for how long?

Do you never check the blinker fluid? Do you want me to die?! Is that your plan?!


Memes,  Sexist Jokes,  Tim Hawkins Jokes,  
    
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If it's so great outside why are all the bugs trying to get in my house?
If it's so great outside why are all the bugs trying to get in my house?

Memes,  Jim Gafferty,  Funny Stand Up Jokes By Comedians,  
    
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put it in "d." it stands for... in' go!
put it in "d." it stands for... in' go!

Memes,  John Caparulo Jokes,  
    
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I hate Clifford the Big Red Dog. I hate him.
I hate Clifford the Big Red Dog. I hate him.

Funny Jokes,  Clifford Jokes,  Louis Ck Jokes,  
    
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Larry the Cable Guy

Git-r-done
Larry the Cable Guy

Git-r-done


Memes,  Larry The Cable Guy Jokes,  Comedian Jokes,  
    
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You can't have everything

Where would you put it?
You can't have everything

Where would you put it?


Memes,  Steve Wright Jokes,  Quote Joke,  
    
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Farted on the bus and 4 people turned around..

Felt like I was on "The voice".
Farted on the bus and 4 people turned around..

Felt like I was on "The voice".


Memes,  Funny Fart Facts,  Best Fart Jokes,  
    
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Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success.
Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success.

Relatable Posts,  Hater Jokes,  
    
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Dreams: The phone rings while sleeping and you don't know if it's your imagination or not.
Dreams: The phone rings while sleeping and you don't know if it's your imagination or not.

Relatable Posts,  Jokes About Dreams,  Funny Short Sms Jokes,  
    
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My room is not messy; it is an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.
My room is not messy; it is an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.

Relatable Posts,  Lazy People Jokes,  Bed And Bedroom Jokes,  
    
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i'd like to see things from your point of view, but i can't seem to get my head that far up your .
i'd like to see things from your point of view, but i can't seem to get my head that far up your .

Relatable Posts,  Classic One Liner Jokes,  Funny English Jokes,  
    
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That awkward moment when you run out of toilet paper and have to yell for someone to bring you some.
That awkward moment when you run out of toilet paper and have to yell for someone to bring you some.

Relatable Posts,  Toilet Paper Jokes,  
    
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That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.

Relatable Posts,  Sarcastic One Liners,  Funny Sarcastic Sayings,  
    
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