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Lonely Jokes
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Lonely Jokes
– 239 total
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I like to eat at Olive Garden by myself and when the hostess says "dining alone tonight?" I say "No because when you're here you're family ha ha ha" never gets a laugh but that's showbiz baby
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Sorry can't come out tonight I gotta sit alone in front of a muted tv opening and closing the same 4 social media app until 3am
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For those of you who are alone on Thanksgiving for $50 I'll call you and ask you why you're not married yet and when you're getting a raise
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Apart from going our and becoming an alcoholic what else is there to do when you're single
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Lmao I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody
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Netlfix: Are you still watching?
Me: No
Netflix: do you want it on in the background anyway to fill deafening silence of your loneliness?
Me: ...yeh
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We playing Uno at Cheesecake Factory
Damn maybe I do want friends
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"How's your love life?"
Me:
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Who here has ever felt like Piglet?
I've been Piglet my whole life
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When neither of my two friends are free to hang out
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How I sleep knowing I am a background character in everyone elses lives and people don't think about me at all
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Me hanging out with myself all day cus I have no friends
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Me checking my phone acting like I actually get texts
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Me trying to decide which friend I should hang out with today
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"I bet you talk to mad dudes on the low"
Me:
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