One Liners

 – 99 total
Happiness is jumping into a warm bed after a long day and going to sleep.
Happiness is jumping into a warm bed after a long day and going to sleep.

Funny Jokes,  Funny Happiness Quotes,  Happiness Jokes,  
    
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You can't plow a field by turning it over in your mind.

Mind Jokes,  Farming Puns,  Funny 1 Liner Jokes,  
    
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It's amazing how your kids stop coming back home once they get their own washer and dryer.

Laundry Jokes,  Jokes About Kids,  Funny Statements,  Funny Quotes For 2014,  
    
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Just remember...You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car!

Funny Egg Jokes,  Egg Jokes,  Neighbor Humor,  
    
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Show off is always shown up in showdown.

List Of Short Jokes,  Quick Jokes,  Scottish Jokes One Liners  
    
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An impotent loser is one who can't even get his hopes up.

Lost Jokes,  Hope Jokes,  
    
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Part-time bandleaders should be called 'semi-conductors'.

Band Jokes,  Technology Puns,  Sarcastic One Liners On Love,  
    
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For every woman with a curve, there are several men with angles.

Men Jokes About Women,  Feminist Jokes About Men,  Feminist Jokes  
    
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Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.

Home Jokes,  Funny Humor Jokes,  
    
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Show me Miss Piggy's laundry and I'll show you a lot of hogwash.

Laundry Puns,  Laundry Jokes,  Funny One Line Jokes  
    
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One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

Politically Incorrect Jokes,  People Jokes,  
    
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I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed.

Funny Philosophy Quotes,  Philosophy Jokes,  Unemployed Jokes,  
    
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Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Prayer Jokes,  Religious Humor,  Religious Jokes One Liners,  
    
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Dyslexics have more nuf.

Dyslexic Jokes,  101 One Liners,  
    
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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that you can get from your wife for free.

Psychiatrist Jokes,  Wife Jokes One Liners,  
    
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